


Full Circle

by z0mbieshake



Series: A Crooked Path [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cheating, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heartbreak, M/M, Season 3A divergence, Sex Addiction, Stockholm Syndrome, broken pedestal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 17:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3858964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z0mbieshake/pseuds/z0mbieshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter fails to take Felix's heart and has his youth and magic stripped away as punishment, turning him back into the miserable, old scoundrel he once was. Despite all that has happened to him, Felix refuses to let Peter go and suffers the consequences of his undying loyalty to a sociopath. </p><p>Distant sequel to A Crooked Path. Canon-divergence for episode 3x11</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Circle

**Author's Note:**

> Something I've been dying to write all this time and finally got a chance to do it. Warning: Lots of angsty heartbreak and sadness coming, despite this fic originally being conceived as a comedic extension of A Crooked Path. Enjoy!

Felix loved him for centuries. Mal, Peter Pan, whoever he was, _saved Felix_ and took him away from that awful life which probably would have ended as it began, thrown into the gutters near a brothel. Yet, even after all those declarations of love, sex, _marriage_ , Felix could feel Peter straying away, could feel his beloved becoming his best friend. Even when he was led astray by women after countless years by Felix's side, be it Wendy or Tinkerbell or the Savior, Felix couldn't stop himself from loving him.

Years later when Felix thought he'd tucked the pain away, swore himself to being just a lieutenant and nothing more, Pan brought it all back that night at the well. In a smaller form, face too innocent to be his scoundrel, Peter Pan declared that he loved Felix most. He didn't catch what he said afterwards, or perhaps he purposely blotted out Pan's clarification of what he really meant, his heart finally _beating_ after all those years of stagnant misery.

That same heart Pan needed now to cast the curse.

All the happiness that gave Felix life once more drained from his form leaving him worse than how he'd ever felt throughout all of the past century, worse than the time he'd seen Pan kiss that wretched girl, promising to make her the Queen of Neverland till she rejected him, demanding to see Baelfire. Felix watched from afar, whatever left of his heart breaking into smaller shards as he ran away. He hid himself in the Echo Caves for weeks, refusing to see anyone or do anything, letting the boys rampage with uncontrolled chaos.

When faced with this kind of pain again, Felix did the only thing he could think of: _He fled_. Henry's body could never catch up to him and he lacked the magic to stop him. He collapsed at the edge of the lake, breathing harsh and ragged as he fought the urge to break down. This was his first and only betrayal to Pan and it killed him just as much as Pan would have.

"Felix?" Henry's voice called for him.

Felix waited, eyes shut, back to his once lover. If he was to die, he'd rather not let Peter see him cry. The footsteps closed in and he cringed, hoping it would be quick. Nothing came and Felix understood why. He turned slowly, seeing round eyes bereft of Pan's sinful allure. He was clutching the scroll in one hand, staring at it in confusion till he looked to Felix and gasped, realizing the truth.

The heroes Felix so despised who ripped him from his home _saved him from Peter Pan_.

 

"You have a visitor," Rumple announced as he walked down the stairs.

Felix came down the stairs shakily, scanning the dimly lit basement. He could barely see the cage in the back, the light from the single bulb just barely reflecting off the black steel. Glyphs were painted all over the walls and bars; Felix recognized them as the ones Hook had once used to keep the Shadow from hunting him down on his ship.

A groan came from the shadows, "Let me guess. The Evil Queen has come to gloat?"

 _That voice._ The proper tone, the proper accent, it brought back all of the misery Felix thought he'd forgotten. He swallowed harshly, walking past Rumple and towards the cell, "No," Felix murmured. That was all it took for Pan to sit up from the bed, leaving the shadows and approaching the bars.

" _Felix_ ," He gasped, brows knitted and eyes wide, utterly surprised.

Rumple was gracious enough to leave them alone no doubt scarred by Felix's past excursions with his father.

For the first time in centuries, Felix saw Peter hesitate, trying to find the right words and justifications. The silence between them was deafening, "You look good," Peter finally choked out.

Felix hummed in response. He'd never had a hard time keeping eye contact with Peter but he couldn't stop his eyes from darting away. He didn't know what he should do. He wanted to yell at Peter, start a fight that would end with both of them tearing at each other through the bars but after centuries of pining for him, he couldn't find the fire inside him to do it. He wanted to _hold him_ and tell him to confess over and over again. Malcolm's love kept him alive and it still did.

Felix reached between the bars, taking Peter's hand into his own.

"You don't hate me?" Peter asked cautiously.

Peter wanted to kill him. Peter promised him that they'd be kings together just like how he promised Wendy she'd be the queen of Neverland. Felix almost wished he followed Wendy's example and rejected him. Peter abandoned him for centuries, the scoundrel's promise of eternal love no longer relevant. _But what did Felix have left?_

"I don't hate you." _I still love you._

True Love could redeem someone, show them the darkness in their heart and then expel it. For one stupid, brief moment, when Peter took Felix by the chin and kissed him between the bars, Felix actually believed it.

 

Felix didn't know how he kept coming back despite all the nightmares. Every night he could see Pan lording over him, laughing at his misery, ripping out his heart and crushing it to dust. Sometimes he'd see Malcolm in his place, fucking him harshly by the edge of the well before flipping him onto his back and ripping out his heart. And rarest of all, Felix would sometimes dream of Peter standing over the well unable to crush his heart and lose the only person he had ever loved. Then he'd scoop Felix into his arms and carry him back home to his shack. Those were the worst.

Peter somehow drove all those images back. The centuries prior when Peter still loved Felix, those days spent in Malcolm's shack smudging kisses on each other's skin, Peter wouldn't stop talking about them. He'd laugh about some time before Neverland when he purposely stole a chicken and a loaf of bread just so he could cook Felix eggs-in-a-basket only to realize he had stolen a rooster or when they first brought the Lost Boys to Neverland and Felix played with them, skipping along to their dances even when he couldn't hear the music. He was drawing Felix in again so he wouldn't be alone. Felix knew but he played along as he always did.

They sat with their backs to the bars. Had it not been for the metal between them, they would've been sitting against each other. Peter's hand snuck out from the bars, taking hold of Felix's and clutching it firmly against the floor. Felix wasn't sure if it was sentiment or if he was just preventing him from escaping.

"Felix?" Peter said, nudging at Felix between the bars with his elbow, "How many days have passed?"

Felix wasn't sure. He never had a good track of time so it felt like years to him, "Two weeks," He replied, using the calendar hanging in the far corner to gauge the time. He wondered why Pan wanted to know how much time was left, pondering for just a moment before gasping, "How much time do you have left?"

Peter was silent for a moment, "Not much."

"What are you going to do?" Felix asked, voice getting quieter.

"…don't know."

Felix wasn't sure if Peter meant to guilt him, blaming him for his coming death. Felix wasn't sure why he couldn't stop himself from feeling guilty. Pan was going to _murder_ him so he could become King in his own little world. Yet, to live without Pan felt like a fate worse than death. To _betray him_ and indirectly cause his death felt a hundred times worse. He'd rather be trapped in Pandora's box for all eternity.

_Is this what true love feels like?_

Felix leapt to his feet, "I'll figure it out," He muttered quick and low, scrambling up the stairs and into the pawn shop.

If Felix was unlucky, Rumple would've walked in on him while he was searching through his things, would've kicked him out of the store and forbid him from ever seeing Peter again. In hindsight, Felix wondered if that would've been for the best. Instead, _Belle found him_ and with enough begging and self-hating, she gave in and convinced Rumple to save Peter.

Peter should've been happy _but he wasn't_. He wanted to live but he didn't want to do it by Rumple's terms. Felix figured that should've been a siren blaring in his mind, begging him to back off, but he hadn't listened to it the first time Malcolm eyed him and he wasn't going to start now. Instead, he accepted Peter's empty gratitude and shared a kiss when he was released from his cage.

"Why do you need us here?" Regina asked, folding her arms as Pan lay down on the couch as opposed to getting burned to a crisp by her magic.

"I'm going to strip away Neverland's magic from him," Rumple explained, watching curiously as Felix kneeled by Pan's side, holding his hand lovingly, "During the spell, I won't be able to gauge Pan's magic so if he tries something, I can't defend myself."

"I figured that part," Regina snapped, "I'm talking about Emma. Why do you need her here?"

Rumple scoffed as if the answer was obvious, "Emma's here to gauge your magic in case _you_ try something."

Felix felt a squeeze on his hand, turning his attention back to Pan, "Yes?"

"I love you," Peter whispered loudly, wrapping one hand around Felix's neck and pulling him in for a kiss. Felix complied with the kiss, shutting his eyes and pressing in further, lapping at the front of Peter's teeth. He wasn't sure who Peter was trying to fool with this but at the very least, he could enjoy it.

Regina groaned outwardly in disgust while Emma and Belle kept their surprise to themselves, "Just get this over with."

Rolling his eyes, unfortunately too accustomed to his father's touchy-feely behaviour around Felix, Rumple lifted his hands and began the spell, a circle of light igniting around Pan where Rumple had drawn with chalk. Felix kept hold of Peter's hand, gripping onto it even as his skin became white-hot. Peter cried out in pain, seizing on the bed and shutting his eyes tightly, screaming like someone was killing him. Despite what Peter had almost done, Felix felt no enjoyment seeing Peter suffer.

"You're hurting him," Felix choked out. He cringed when Peter screamed louder, convulsing on his back, "You're hurting him!"

" _Shut up_ , I need to concentrate," Rumple hissed, teeth grit together as magic crackled all around Peter, traveling through Rumple's fingers. It was clear he shared at least some of Peter's pain, Neverland's wicked magic twisting and violent to both parties.

Felix almost cried out again till Peter grabbed hold of his shoulder, fingers digging into the fabric and into his skin. A crackle of green magic sprung from his flesh, snapping at Felix violently and travelling up his arm. The pain shut him up quickly, unable to even _scream_ from the sheer overload on his senses. From the corner of his eye, he could see Belle watching Rumple, hands curling up in worry. Emma and Regina stayed at the side, more focused on Peter than Rumple, making sure he wasn't playing any tricks.

No one was looking at him and only now did Felix realize how accustomed he was to the feeling. Only two people ever looked at him and saw a real person and only one of them was still around. This realization cemented his resolve; he clamped his jaw shut, took Peter's hand into both his hands and pressed him close sharing in his pain so he wouldn't suffer alone.

" _I love you too,_ " Felix whispered.

A blinding flash of white light burst from Pan's body. The spectators reeled back, covering their eyes and pushed slightly backwards by the force of the burst. Rumple remained rooted by the couch with magic. Felix collapsed where he sat on the floor, body exhausted by the pain.

Something was off about the hand Felix held. It felt bigger and the skin roughed by age. Felix opened his eyes slowly, heart stopping when he found himself clutching at a burgundy sleeve made of harsh, cheap cloth. He swallowed as his eyes moved upward, examining the scruff around his lover's neck and a floppy mess of greying hair.

" _Mal_ …?" Felix whispered, reaching forward to cup his face.

Malcolm twitched under his hand, eyes opening slowly, "What did you do?" He choked out, his accent lighter as Felix duly noted.

Recovering from the spell, Rumple retrieved his cane from the side, resting upon it with both hands, "I removed you from whatever contract bound you to Neverland. In exchange for freeing you from giving your lifeforce to the island, your magic has been cut off. Now you're right back where you started," He removed a scroll from his jacket, "And just as a precaution," Murmuring a spell under his breath, purple smoke wove itself around both Malcolm and Felix before vanishing seconds later, "Now you're both put under the town's curse, just to make sure neither of you try to escape."

Felix didn't care much for it. Honestly, he had no intention of leaving. He was still too awestruck at the sight of _Malcolm_ after all these years. He'd nearly forgotten how the scoundrel looked, Peter too ashamed of his past to ever indulge Felix with a peek.

Malcolm's eyes narrowed at his son's words, almost unbelieving as if Rumple had tricked him somehow. At the very least, he wanted to keep his youth. He didn't want to go back to that worthless, bumbling scoundrel who had nothing to his name. Glaring up at his son, ungrateful to the core, Malcolm spat at him knowing that Rumple purposely cursed him with this form.

"So, is that it?" Regina asked.

"No, not quite," Rumple replied but before anyone could inquire, he took his cane by the shaft and _beat the living hell out of his father_.

Felix flinched, daring to reach out and stop Rumple before whipping around to Belle, begging with his eyes, "Emma, stop him!" Belle cried out for Felix's sake.

"You know what?" Emma replied, voice flat and arms folded as she remembered everything Pan had put Henry through, "I think I'm going to let this slide."

Regina nodded to Emma with a smirk, "You're learning."

"Stop it!" Felix shouted when he realized the spectators chose to stand idle. He grabbed the cane, dwarfing Rumple as he stood and shoving the sorcerer back. Immediately, Belle and Emma ran in front of Felix, blocking Rumple. The sorcerer was glaring at Felix, nails digging into his cane, threatening to turn Felix into a slug for interrupting.

Whatever made him change his mind was beyond Felix. Rumple tossed his cane aside and turned away, returning to the front of the store, "Welcome back, _Papa_."

The ladies left with him shortly after, Regina giving one final glare before exiting the shop. Felix remained at Malcolm's side, clutching his hand again tightly. He looked to Malcolm, running a hand across his hair to smooth it out. He would never admit it but this was the happiest Felix had ever been with Peter for a very long time. Peter Pan was his best friend. Malcolm was his lover. That would never change.

"Mal?" Felix whispered, the slightest of smiles on his lips.

Malcolm wouldn't even look at him.

 

Felix would never get used to his alarm clock, always jolting awake and reaching for his club when it rang. There was never a need for an alarm in Neverland. He was always able to somehow wake up whenever his patrol started or to plan a hunt. In hindsight, he wondered if Pan was somehow behind it. It would've been bad for morale if the Lost Boy leader had awful punctuality.

At the thought, Felix sat up slowly, peering over to the larger form crumpled on the blanket, pudgy arms secured tightly around his waist. He smiled lightly at the image, smoothing back Malcolm's hair with his right hand. Before Neverland, Felix could rarely have the pleasure of waking up beside Malcolm, a full night's rest uninterrupted by work.

Reminding himself that this was no longer his past, Felix lowered himself onto the bed and pressed a gentle kiss to Malcolm's forehead, rolling the older man onto his back as he pressed a trail of kisses down his cheek and neck. He had no bakery to work at, no exhaustion to sleep off, so he chose to enjoy himself just a bit longer. He pulled the blanket back, lapping at hot skin as he moved lower. Smirking, Felix pulled back Malcolm's loose pajama bottoms as he wet his lips. He didn't want to admit that he hadn't given fellatio in a long time as if it were something to be ashamed of. He didn't want to remind himself that Peter lost interest in him, that the true love Malcolm once swore to him was temporary.

Shutting his eyes, Felix almost pulled away, self-hate filling him once more. Felix opened his mouth and suckled Malcolm into his mouth, smothering his thoughts with Malcolm's flesh, Malcolm's scent, pleasuring the _love of his life_. There was no more regret. Malcolm said he loved him. Peter proved it at the well. Malcolm's groan was just enough to pollute Felix's thoughts, delude himself into pretending all of his heartbreak no longer existed.

_Everything will be okay as long as I have him._

A smile on his lips as he took Malcolm deep into his throat, fists clenching in the blankets as he fought his gag reflex. He nearly choked when a hand flew to the back of his head, gripping into his hair and pushing Felix closer. A quiet whine slipped from Felix's throat but he didn't pull back or stop, continuing to suckle at Malcolm's erection and swallowing up the pre-cum that trickled into his throat.

" _Felix!_ " Malcolm cried out, waking up somewhere along the line as he rocked his hips forward.

Bobbing his head back and forth, one hand poking out from the sheets to massage his balls as he thoroughly cleaned his erection with his tongue, Felix knew everything Malcolm loved and worked it as hard as he could. Hearing Malcolm _shout_ , his back arching off the bed as every limb tensed, Felix swallowed up his come eagerly and sat up with a joy he almost felt guilty of having.

" _Morning_ , Peter," Felix sighed, wiping away the come on his lip with a thumb before lapping it up.

Malcolm stared up at him, hair dishevelled and utterly undone by Felix's morning blowjob, "What a way to wake me up," He chuckled breathlessly, smirking as he pulled Felix back down and suckled a bruise into his neck.

 

Biting on his lip as he examined himself in the reflection of Granny's diner, Felix fidgeted with the collar of his dress shirt, trying to cover as much of the hickey as he could. The bruise had taken a vivid colour on his neck and nearly bled through the white of his thin collar.

_"I have work today, you ass," Felix growled playfully, shoving at Malcolm's chest._

_The older man was unperturbed, taking a handful of Felix's shirt and jerking him back onto the bed, smothering him with harsh kisses, "Stay in bed with me today," He cooed, once again suckling on the mark he left on Felix's neck._

Peter hadn't been so loving to him in a while. Felix was almost tempted to stay. Reality ensued though, it always did, and Felix had to make a living to keep his home. At the very least, the town was kind enough to him to give him a legitimate job.

"Kid, you're late," Emma greeted as Felix stepped into the diner, "Thought you'd be more punctual than the other boys."

Felix replied with a shrug. He usually was but Malcolm was distracting him.

"Let him go. It's his first day," A kinder voice said, the brunette circling around Emma and lifting a hand to shake, "I'm Ruby."

"Felix," Felix mumbled, shaking her hand lazily.

"So, before I leave," Emma started, "Gold says you and _Pan_ have an interesting…" She cleared her throat awkwardly, " _Relationship_. For the sake of keeping the predator hotline from exploding, would you mind dialing that down?"

 _Ha! No way._ Peter would _never_ dial it down, "Okay," Felix replied, his true answer betrayed by a smirk.

"Super," Emma replied, "I'll be off then. Good luck, Ruby," She retrieved her breakfast, leaving the diner to, no doubt, deal with the twenty-something other Lost Boys.

"Alright then, Felix," Ruby greeted, patting on counter, "Let's get you introduced to the cook and I'll run through the menu with you."

Obediently, as he always did everything, Felix followed Ruby's careful instruction, memorizing the menu and preparing simple appetizers. His eyes were always at the door, watching each customer walk in and deflating when it was someone he couldn't recognize.

"Who are you waiting for?" Ruby replied, emptying the coffee maker.

"Peter," Felix mumbled, frowning again when Dr. Hopper stepped in.

Ruby had only heard a bit of what had transpired. Peter Pan, kidnapping Henry via Greg Mendel and stealing his heart. When they had returned to Storybrooke, Pan had somehow switched bodies with Henry and he nearly cast the Dark Curse _using Felix's heart_ but at the very last minute, they switched Peter and Henry back into their original bodies, _saving Felix_.

Yet, Felix still cared about Peter? Ruby was honestly baffled.

"I'm sure he'll be in any second," Ruby replied, "Come on. Before the lunch shift starts, I'll give you a quick run through of the town."

It had been centuries since Felix needed a tour of anything, having memorized Neverland's layout down to the slightest detail. To take in a whole new city was somewhat overwhelming especially in this… _car_ which Felix constantly asked to pull over before he threw up.

"Not used to technology yet, huh?" Ruby asked, watching Felix suck in deep breaths with the window down, "Stare out the window. It'll help with the motion sickness."

"Can we go back to work?" Felix asked, folding his arms and clearly unhappy.

Shrugging, Ruby started the car and continued on slowly, "When I was your age, I hated going to work. Had the world at my fingertips. And then I realized I was a werewolf and things got a bit complicated after that."

Felix sputtered, "What?"

A toothy smile flashed on Ruby's face, "Thought that would get your attention. When the full moon's up, I'll show you."

"I knew a werewolf."

"Hm? Really?" Ruby asked, purposely driving slower to give Felix more time to talk.

"He was a lost boy," Felix said, "Really loved Neverland but Hook killed him."

Ruby had heard Hook's painful experience with Neverland, slaying boys against his will and breaking whatever code he had just to survive. He figured Felix had the exact opposite feeling, adoring Neverland and seeing each boy that fell against Hook as a hero. Despite his jarring mood swing, this was the first time during the outing that Ruby saw Felix happy, "Tell me about Neverland."

Finally acting like a boy his age, Felix told hundreds of stories about Neverland, about his escapades with Peter and the raunchy consequences. Judging solely from his words, Ruby fully expected Peter to be a dashing young man, boyish in looks and mischievous in the eyes.

"Where were both of you?" Granny exclaimed, "Lunch service is starting and you're both out getting ice cream?"

Ruby shrugged, lapping at the rocky road in her hands while Felix snacked on mint chocolate ice cream, "You know, Any Given Sundae was having a sale. We thought, why not?" At her remark, Felix chuckled which was worth the entire two hours spent driving around town.

Granny rolled her eyes, tossing Ruby and Felix their aprons, "Get to work. And don't learn from her, Felix," Granny noted, jabbing a finger into Ruby's shoulder, "Also, you've got a visitor."

Gasping and filled with happiness, Felix looked over Ruby to the older man standing by the booth, " _Peter_!" He said, running to him.

Ruby turned and her _jaw fell through the floor_ at the scruffy old man behind her, "Peter Pan?"

Malcolm peered at her over Felix's shoulder, embracing the boy playfully, "Is there a problem?"

Yes. There was one hell of a problem, "Nope," Ruby replied with a smile, "Anyway, what would you like to eat?"

One Eggs Benedict later, Ruby sauntered over to Felix scrubbing down the far counter, "So, is Peter _your father?_ "

Felix's eyes snapped wide, "No. Why would you think that?" He paused, looking over to Malcolm and answering his own question, "He's Rumpelstilskin's father."

"… _what?_ " Ruby said, "What!"

Felix snickered at her reaction, knowing that she was hoping that he was joking. He broke off shortly after, heading into the back hall to throw out the trash. He nearly made it back till the bathroom door opened behind him, Malcolm coming out and pressing himself firmly against Felix.

"Love the uniform on you," Malcolm giggled, arms tight around his waist, "Heard booty shorts used to be part of the standard uniform. You should look into that."

Placing his palms on the wall, Felix purposely pushed his hips back, grinding against the front of Malcolm's pants, "If you wanted me in booty short, you could just ask."

Hands groping, lips sliding together before tongues tangling with one another, Malcolm took Felix by the hips with one hand and ground forward, relishing the heat building from the friction between them. He took Felix's jaw with his other hand, turning him and mashing their lips together till their teeth clacked. Felix crooned at the touch, wrapping an arm around Malcolm's head to pull him in for a deeper kiss. He groaned when Malcolm reached into the front of his pants, fingers gripping into the tight blond curls under his waistband before pressing further-

"Oh my god!" Ruby shouted, breaking her tray over Malcolm's head and pulling Felix back, "Fifteen gets you twenty, pervert!"

"No, wait!" Felix shouted, diving between Malcolm and Ruby when the waitress was about to mash Malcolm in the balls with her heels, "I can explain!"

Back in the diner, Ruby stared wide-eyed at Felix's explanation, about how he and Peter were lovers back before Neverland, his life as a prostitute and Malcolm loving him like a human being, "That… _wow._ "

Malcolm looked up from the booth, a pack of ice pressed over his head. He felt like he should've been more angry but he had gotten used to things being smashed over his head during his affairs with Felix, "It's perfectly normal."

"Not quite," Ruby replied, "The rules are a lot different here in Storybrooke."

"Ha!" Malcolm coughed out, nodding to Felix as he refilled his coffee, "Rules are meant to be broken."

"Yeah, and you'll promptly end up behind bars for them," Ruby replied, folding her arms.

Felix smirked, nudging at Malcolm with his foot, "Bars, handcuffs, all that fun stuff."

Snickering, Malcolm took Felix by the wrists and held them together, mimicking handcuffs, "You're under arrest and you have the right to remain silent _if you can_ ," A lecherous chuckle followed which Ruby promptly broke up.

"You're scaring the customers," Ruby replied, waving awkwardly to a somewhat perturbed Dr. Whale who promptly scribbled down Malcolm's words on a notepad.

"Hey, hey!" Malcolm called out, standing up slightly and pointing at the flirtatious doctor, "Get your own material."

Shushing the older man, Felix coaxed Malcolm into sitting back down, stroking at his hair playfully, "Forget about him. And if you behave for the rest of the day, _I'll let you chain me up back home_ ," Felix cooed, losing himself in Malcolm's gaze before Ruby once again pulled them apart.

"Alright, alright, keep it professional here," Ruby said, "But seriously, keep it professional. I'm not even allowed to flirt with anyone when I'm on work. That applies to you too. Both of you."

Reluctantly, Felix pulled away from Malcolm, returning to work and only managing a few coy remarks and winks here and there. Malcolm remained in the diner for the rest of the day, flipping through a book left behind on the windowsill.

When closing time came, Granny approached Felix and handed him an envelope of bills, "Here you are. Early paycheck so you can cover rent and just a bit extra for you to enjoy."

Felix thanked Granny with a quick nod, counting the bills in his hands before Ruby threw an arm over his shoulders, "You ever been to a club at night? I can show you the best ones," She walked him away from the counter, patting him on the shoulder, "You lived in the jungle for so long. The modern scene will be good for you."

Before Felix could reply, Malcolm reached out from his booth, grabbing Felix by the wrist and pulling him in, " _Felix_ ," He purred, arms secure around his waist as he pulled him in for a kiss. Peering up at Ruby with one eye, Malcolm continued pressing forward, stealing away a hungry, raunchy kiss from Felix before pulling away, both of them utterly satisfied as they stared at one another.

"Um…" Ruby mumbled, stunned by the passionate outburst, "I'm not even sure that was okay in the Enchanted Forest. You're lucky no one is here or else you'd be reported right away."

Snickering, Malcolm stood from his booth and stretched, spine twisting like a cat's, "Let's go home for tonight," He shot Ruby a look, arrogant with no basis, "I'll bring you around town tomorrow."

"You don't even know where everything is," Felix replied, smiling along anyway as Malcolm shepherded him out.

"I'll figure it out. I always do," Malcolm replied, giving Ruby and Granny an obnoxious, little wave before heading out.

Perhaps taking Ruby's offer would've been the better choice, figuring out how the rules worked before Malcolm broke them. He ignored it though, finding himself too comfortable with Malcolm holding his hand as they walked down the street together.

"I've got a bonus on my paycheck," Felix said, "Maybe we'll find a _sex store_ around here."

A bark of laughter came from Malcolm, "If we don't, I'll just get creative."

"No more apples, _please_? I need to stand all day tomorrow," Felix remarked, a smile immediately flashing on Malcolm's face as he scooped Felix into his arms and spun around, humming with joy.

" _Would you look at that?_ " Malcolm and Felix froze immediately at that distinct voice, _The Dark One_ turning the corner and approaching them with Belle in tow, "Hello, Papa," He said mockingly.

Malcolm scowled at his son, "Rumple," He grumbled, "So _nice_ to see you. Lovely girl you're dating, by the way."

Belle watched him awkwardly, clearly disturbed but still maintaining a polite demeanor, "It's nice to meet you."

"Your taste is certainly going downhill." Malcolm hissed, unable to stop himself from spitting poison at his son.

Rumple snorted, amused by his father's misplaced haughtiness, "And I see you've still got a taste for young boys. It was no surprise to me that you spent three centuries kidnapping boys till you ran out of pixie dust. At least your lapdog stuck by you even after you tried to kill him."

Felix flinched at the remark and from Belle's expression, he could tell she was uncomfortable with Rumple's malice, "Let's go," Felix mumbled, pulling on Malcolm's arm, forcing the older man to move despite his insistent glare towards his son.

Malcolm's entire mood shifted from his encounter with Rumple, staying quiet and hateful as Felix walked him back into their dingy apartment, rented to them by Rumple of course, and sat Malcolm down on the bed. He reached for the remote, hoping to flip on something to cheer Malcolm up. The older man stopped him, hand resting on Felix's wrist.

"Yes?" Felix murmured, sitting on the bed and staring into Malcolm's eyes.

"Do you hate me?" Malcolm asked, "For what I tried to do?"

Felix shook his head, "You did what you had to do," He replied, "And I know you wouldn't have gone through with it."

Hands cupped Felix's cheeks, holding him still while Malcolm stared into his face, yearning for him, "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course," Felix replied, loyal to a fault.

Had the situation been different, had _Mal_ not come back into his life, Felix may have hated Peter but the promise of the life they could've had if Felix never left Malcolm back in Krumm made everything feel _right_ and Felix readily forgave Peter. Rolling onto his back, legs spread and slipping against the cheap sheets, Felix bucked and moaned as Malcolm claimed him in bed just as he did so long ago, filling him to the brim and remaining entangled for hours, breathing each other in and happy to be alive.

 

The Rabbit Hole was certainly beyond anything Felix expected. Unlike the decrepit bars and pubs in the Enchanted Forest, the Rabbit Hole was upbeat, bustling, and most notably _clean_ , like a high class bathhouse.

"Ashley!" Ruby shouted, waving to her friend from across the room while Felix and Malcolm followed, "You two have fun and try not to start making out. You'll freak out the customers," With one final wave, Ruby broke off from the group and joined Ashley for a drink.

"We should dance," Malcolm joked, snickering playfully as Felix rolled his eyes and walked him over to the bar, "You and me grinding up against each other. Then a quick hand job in the bathroom. What do you say?"

"After I get drunk," Felix remarked, kissing Malcolm on the cheek as he took the corner stool.

"Felix?" A boyish voice shouted, a mop of curly red hair nearly glowing in the night club lights.

"Curly?" Felix mumbled, seeing the bright-eyed boy and feeling just a bit of spite from betrayal under an overwhelming amount of homesickness, "You're working here?"

The redhead nodded, gesturing over to the second teenager behind the bar, "Simon too. And it's Cory now. We decided against using our nicknames during work. How about a martini? Simon's real good at them."

Cory flinched suddenly as Simon came over, casually resting a hand on his butt and getting punched playfully for it before Cory walked off to serve another customer, "Been a while, Felix. Heard you're working at Granny's now," He picked out a martini glass, mixing in different alcohol, "If it's any consolation, we just wanted to leave Neverland and move on with our lives. It was nothing personal."

It _felt_ personal seeing every boy turn on him, betraying Pan's location and gleefully filing onto Hook's ship with Felix trussed up and carried on board like cargo. It was a heartache he thought he'd never recover from till Pan revealed himself in Henry. Yet, with everything that had transpired, Felix could not find the ability to hate the Lost Boys for what they had done.

Unable to use words, Felix nodded in acknowledgement, eyes soft and forgiving.

Simon slid the martini over, giving Felix a playful punch on the shoulder, "On the house," His eyes scanned the crowd cautiously, "Do you mind if I ask you something personal?"

Felix knew what was coming and he nodded away, briefly noting Malcolm sitting beside him and utterly ignored.

"Rumour was that _Pan tried to kill you,_ " Simon was quiet as he spoke, watching Felix carefully, "How are you holding up?"

Pan's most loyal Lost Boy _betrayed_ by the leader he loved more than anything else in the world. Felix knew what Simon expected him to say, "It's fine," He sipped his martini, humming with pleasure at the unique flavour completely unlike the unrefined rum Hook would carry on his ship.

"Screw him, you know?" Simon said, "Pan's the reason none of us could leave the island. Who needs that asshole anyway? And if you're looking for anyone, Nicholas has always fancied you a bit."

"Are you pimping out Nicholas again?" Cory said, smacking Simon over the head gently with a serving tray.

"He's not looking for anyone!" Malcolm shouted, unable to stay quiet any longer.

Simon and Cory glanced over at the unknown man, eyes narrowing, "Who are you?" Simon asked, sliding back the tray Cory smacked him with.

"That's _Peter_ ," Felix choked out weakly, watching as the two former Lost Boys stared at Malcolm with utter shock, mirroring Ruby's reaction.

Simon was first to speak and as Felix expected, disrespect was dripping from his voice, "So that _old man_ you kept shape-shifting into on the island. That was the real you all along?" He snorted with laughter, resting his weight on the bed, "Imagine that. You know, this actually makes everything a bit _creepy_ doesn't it? A grown-ass man pretending to be a kid, _watching all of us_ when we're sleeping or bathing."

"Simon, stop," Cory murmured, trying to cool him down.

"No. I won't," Simon said, glaring at Malcolm, "Because the shoe's on the other foot now, isn't it? I get to _humiliate you_ and you can't do a thing to me."

Malcolm snorted, eyes dark as he spoke, "What did I ever do to you? You weren't important."

"Wasn't I?" Simon grimaced, "You thought Cory and I were important enough to _break apart_. Don't think I couldn't tell what you were trying to do with that _Springs_ kid."

Felix remembered _Springs_ , a wide-eyed, curly haired boy that could've been a perfect match for Cory had it not been for the strawberry blond hair. He suspected some sort of foul play, the boy coming out of nowhere for no reason whatsoever and suddenly a part of the senior Lost Boys.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Malcolm huffed, folding his arms.

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about!" Simon growled, punching the counter.

Immediately, Cory stepped forward and pulled Simon back, "Stop it. He's not worth it."

"Listen to your _woman_ , Slightly," Malcolm hissed, lips twisting up cruelly as Cory flushed with embarrassment.

Cory turned his focus back on Felix, the boy ducking his head shyly, "So it's not true then? Peter didn't try to kill you."

Felix didn't answer which only incriminated Pan further.

"Felix, you can't-"

The stool dropped with a clatter as Malcolm stormed out. Simon and Cory shouted after Felix as he followed shortly after, desperate to catch up with Malcolm before he ran off, "Wait!" Felix shouted, chasing after Malcolm on the side walk, "Wait!" He shouted again, grabbing onto Malcolm's arm only to be _slapped_ off.

The moment Felix's hand left him, Malcolm froze, turning back with weak eyes, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," He took hold of Felix's hands, "Don't leave me."

Felix sighed, pulling Malcolm into a half-hug, "I'll never leave you," It pained him to see Malcolm so vulnerable, his pride and charisma from Neverland utterly non-existent. It was stripped away from him the day he lost the game, Neverland stolen from him along with his magic and youth, "What do you want to do?"

Malcolm shrugged, without direction for the first time in a long while.

Felix nearly contemplated dropping back in, asking Ruby for another night club to go. Instead, he spotted a video store across the street. They probably should make good use of the television Tinkerbell gave them as a settling-in present, "I've got something we can do for the rest of tonight."

 

It wasn't what Felix visualized himself doing the day Peter brought him to Neverland, jerking each other off to cheap pornos at night while they attempted to copy whatever position they showcased. To see Malcolm's smile especially after the older man was humiliated and vulnerable was more than enough to keep Felix going, wasting away extra savings for a new porno every other week.

Felix walked his fingers up Malcolm's chest, toying with his chest hair before nudging at his cheek and tugging lightly at his beard. Malcolm smiled down at him with _tired eyes_ , completely unlike the magical rascal he once was, "Do you have to go to work today? Skip work so we can watch more movies."

"I can't," Felix replied, "I just need a little bit more until we can buy another video."

Malcolm snickered, sneaking a hand down Felix's back to toy with his pliant-fleshed ass, "Naughty boy."

"Visit me?" Felix said, watching Malcolm's expression stiffen at the question. He had run into more than enough familiar faces who were happy to rip him a new one, once subservient to his power and now spiteful and eager to disgrace him.

"Sure."

As he promised, Malcolm appeared far after lunch, past the rush hour where no one he could've identified would see him. Felix smiled as he came in, handing him a menu and ordering Eggs Benedict despite the breakfast shift being long over.

"How are you feeling?" Ruby asked, leaning on a counter as Felix prepared the coffee, "Haven't seen you out much."

"I'm with Malcolm," Felix replied, "He doesn't like going out."

Ruby peered over at the man, assuming the exact opposite of what Felix suggested, "Why don't you try going out without him? There's a lot of Storybrooke you have yet to see."

Felix shook his head, adamant as always, "No."

The door chime rang as sharp heels clacked against the checkered floor, "Give me the house special. Unless it’s the lasagna, in that case, just give me a coffee," Regina ordered, charisma of a true queen as she approached the counter where Malcolm sat.

Malcolm fought the scowl as he greeted her, "Evil Queen."

"You're in my spot," Regina said, "Get off before you start _contaminating it._ "

Malcolm rolled his eyes, aggressive despite knowing that he had no strength to start any fights, "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"You want a joke? Look in the mirror," Regina replied, waving at Granny in the kitchen, "I'll have it to go."

The Evil Queen didn't bother with humouring him, stone-cold as she stepped around his slouching form, took her meal, and stepped right out.

"Peter…?" Felix cautioned, seeing the utter contempt in his eyes aimed at the reflection across from him, "Um, do you want a slice of pie? It's on me."

Saying nothing, Malcolm stood from his stool and left the diner.

Malcolm didn't return for the rest of the day. When night fell and his shift ended, Felix ended up in the video store on his own, sorting through adult movies like a hormonal teenager. He returned home, unsurprised to find the lights out and Malcolm laying on the bed.

"Peter?" Felix called out, holding up the video in the moonlight, "I picked out a movie for us. It's got a forest in it and a blond guy. I know how much you like that," He joked, hoping to stir something in Malcolm, "I'll… I'll just pop it in and we'll see if it's good."

"Not now, Felix," Malcolm mumbled, "I just want to sleep."

Dumbly, Felix put the video away, stripped down, and curled up beside Malcolm, watching the old man simply stare at the ceiling, fully awake, contemplating everything that had gone wrong, "I'll never leave you," Felix repeated, beckoning Malcolm to look at him and swearing for just a split second, he could see contempt.

"Mm," Malcolm hummed in response, turning back to look at the ceiling.

They never got around to watching the movie, the tape simply sitting on the television set and gathering dust. Malcolm stopped showing up at the diner, Felix stopped buying more tapes and began coming home during his lunch break, dropping off something for Malcolm to eat before running back. The older man refused to go out, his _pride_ too fragile and too many enemies more than willing to knock him down.

Weeks passed and when Felix finally saved enough, he bought both of them phones, something to keep them connected even when they were apart. Ruby watched Felix endlessly text Malcolm, actual conversation in Felix's life dwindling, "A couple boys dropped by looking for you."

"Don't care," Felix replied, letting their treacherous sting stay relevant in his mind, "Don't need them."

"Peter's going to be fine on his own. You're letting him drag you behind," Ruby said, her words meant only to be counsel but taken as _insults_ to Peter Pan.

Felix scowled at her, taking his orders and ignoring her for the rest of the day. He was _never_ going to leave Peter no matter what he did. He nearly stormed out of the diner when his shift ended, tired of Granny and Ruby nagging him all the time about Malcolm. How could they ever understand what he and Malcolm had been through?

Counting the bills of his latest paycheck, he figured he could spend half on rent and put the rest with his savings. If they had enough, Felix figured he could buy a laptop, perhaps have someone set up internet for them and give Malcolm some other means of entertainment. He once had the world under his control, no doubt he'd grow bored of the mundane modern life.

_Peter would be so happy._

"I'm home," Felix said as he entered the apartment, immediately picking up the sour scent of alcohol as he entered the poorly lit apartment, "Peter?" He called out, eyeing the black mass by the window, "Why are you sitting here in the dark and-?" He paused, noting a cardboard case of liquor filled with empty bottles, "Wha… where did you get all this?"

Almost immediately, Felix darted over to the front drawer, pulling it open and flinching when he found his _savings missing_ , "Peter!" He shouted, stomping over to the form slumped over to the desk and shoving it harshly, "We need that for food!"

" _You…_ "

Felix stopped, shaken by the gravelly tone Malcolm's voice had taken.

" _This was all you_ ," Malcolm stood, his shadow blocking the window and casting the room into darkness. The pungent scent of alcohol swept over Felix like a wave as Malcolm approached.

Felix took a step back, unable to take a deep breath, "You're drunk."

"What?" Malcolm hissed suddenly, "No 'how was your day'? You're going to cut straight to _nagging me_?"

Felix stumbled away, so confused, "I'm not doing this with you while you're drunk."

"This is all your fault, you know," Malcolm grumbled, unfocused eyes raw and glinting in the dark, " _All your fault._ Because you just couldn't-"

"How is it my fault you used all our money?" Felix said.

" _Shut up!_ " Malcolm snarled, voice breaking from the volume.

Felix's mouth snapped shut, fighting the urge to cower as Malcolm walked him backwards into a wall.

"You cost me everything! You're the reason I'm like this," Malcolm growled, his breath misting over Felix's mouth, the sour taste of vodka transferring to his tongue.

Felix shook his head, "I don't know what you're-" He yelped, Malcolm's hand snapping upward and gripping into his chin, his nose pressed into Felix's face as his wild eyes simply _stared_ , "P-Peter… let's j-just talk about this."

"You're the reason I _lost my new Neverland_!"

Words robbed from his mouth, Felix could do nothing but stare into Malcolm's eyes.

Encouraged by his silence, Malcolm pressed on, hand still gripping Felix's jaw, his palm feeling his Adam's apple bob beneath it, "I could've had it all. I could've been the one laughing at Rumple or the evil queen. But _you_ took it away from me," He spoke like he was spitting poison, "It's your fault I have nothing!"

"I just…I wanted…"

"Shut up! Shut up! I don't care what you want!" Malcolm snarled, hand tightening on his jaw and threatening to slide down and choke the life from Felix.

_I wanted to live._

"Your fault. All your fault," Malcolm's words began to slur, knees wobbling as his eyes lost their heat and rawness. His hand slackened on Felix before he fell forward, head lolling onto Felix's shoulder before his entire weight collapsed on the boy.

Breath shallow and quick, on the verge of hyperventilation, Felix slid down from the wall, Malcolm's body following down with him and remaining slumped over his shoulder. He couldn't shut his mouth, still trying to process Malcolm's words without breaking down.

Felix _whimpered_ , staring at the body on his shoulder and seeing a stranger. Despite years on a carnivorous island, Felix had never felt more unsafe in his life. He shoved Malcolm away, begging that the man wouldn't wake up as he hit the carpet with a heavy thud. He collected whatever was on the floor, sleeping wear, stray shirts, two pairs of old jeans, as well as his phone charger and a couple books he had borrowed from the library. Stuffing it into a duffel bag Emma had given him when he first moved in, he opened the door and _fled_.

"What do you think of that Felix kid?" Granny asked, locking up the diner for the night.

"He's okay when he's on his own," Ruby replied, texting a friend quickly, "That old man is a bad influence on him."

Granny shuddered, picking up her purse, "Whatever he's doing to that boy, it's not healthy for him no matter what their history is. We should call the sheriff-" She paused, noticing Felix standing before the diner with fearful eyes, "Felix?"

Felix swallowed harshly, the dryness in his throat unquenchable, "Um," He started, his whole body jittering, "I-um…" How ironic that he had stormed out on them, hating them for condemning Peter and now running to them for help.

Immediately catching the direness in his expression, Ruby came forward and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Hey. What's wrong?"

Shutting his eyes, Felix could only see Pan scolding him for asking an adult for help, mocking him till he'd never find the pride to ask another, "I need a place to stay," He choked out, voice sounding pained, eyes tightly shut as if that could drive off the _phantom_ of Peter berating him. He flinched when he felt a touch to his head, unable to open his eyes until he was pulled into a hug, a soft perfume of strawberries and diner food erasing Pan's memory.

"Granny will set a room up for you," Ruby said, patting his back, " _Everything will be alright_."

 

"We haven't had many customers," Ruby said as she walked Felix down the main corridor of the Bed and Breakfast, "So pick whatever room you like. Do you want forest view or square view?"

Felix shrugged weakly, turning into a random hotel room and feeling his stomach twist at the sight of the forest past the window. _The first time in his life that Felix felt loved, a hotel overseeing the forest acting as the backdrop,_ "Square. I want the square view," He nearly stumbled into Ruby as he turned away and entered the room across.

Ruby watched the lost boy wander into his room, dropping his duffel bag to the floor as he stared out the window breathing deeply, trying to drive away the heaviness in his chest. She stepped forward, hand resting on the door as she spoke, "I'll be in the room down the hall and Granny will be downstairs. If you need anything, we're here, alright?" Felix nodded but didn't turn, "And you can stay as long as you want. No one's using this room anyone."

"Mm," Felix hummed in response, turning around with broken eyes and a small smile, "Thank you."

Smiling back, Ruby shut the door behind her and made her way back to her room. Felix remained where he was, simply staring out the window into the stars that were sprinkled across the sky. _The second star to the right_ twinkling down on him.

_"This is all your fault!"_

Felix shuddered at the memory, whole body trembling once more. He fell to ground, curling up and covering his head, utterly terrified, the pain in his chest unbearable. Things were supposed to be better. _Malcolm was back_. Malcolm was _supposed_ to be back and then he wouldn't be alone anymore. In his darkest memories, he could see it again, thuggish pirates surrounding his broken form, howling with laughter. Somehow _, this was worse._

"Are you alright?"

Felix leapt off the ground, pressed up against the wall when he saw _Malcolm_ sitting on his dresser, extending a hand to him, "How did you get in here?" He choked out, eyes blown out in fear, "G-G-Get out! Get out! RUBY!" He stopped when Malcolm hadn't come any closer, opening one eye and seeing a softer expression, face creased with age but still youthful in appearance, but most startlingly, the ragged clothes of a vagrant hugging to his body. Felix would recognize his ratty yellow scarf, worn vest, and scratchy jacket anywhere, " _Mal?_ "

 _Mal_ smiled at him, "Yeah."

"But, how are you here?"

"I'm not," Mal replied, coming over to him, "I'm in your mind."

Felix let out a bitter laugh, "I'm going insane," He must've been. He could feel the warmth of Mal's finger against his cheek, the slightest wafting scent of cheap soap off his skin.

Mal shrugged, taking Felix's hand and leading him to the bed, "You wanted to see me. So, here I am. God, it's been so long since I've seen your face. It's as _beautiful_ as always."

Felix let out another laugh, tone lighter and happier, "I missed you."

The _Malcolm of his memories_ leaned in, kissing Felix softly and deliberately just as he had so long ago in the Enchanted Forest. Felix fell backwards in bed, pulling Mal with him as he stared into those still powerful eyes.

"Would you ever hate me for wanting to live?" Felix asked, watching Mal roll onto the bed beside him.

"Of course not. Why would you ask a silly question like that?" Mal replied, stroking Felix's hair before pulling the blanket up over both of them, "Sleep. You've been working this whole day. You deserve the rest."

"Wait," Felix called out, taking Mal's hand, "Stay for the night."

Mal gave him a sad smile, "You know I can't. _I'm not real_."

It was a cruel but necessary reminder, "Then, stay until I fall asleep."

For just the briefest of moment, Felix could feel himself tucked into Malcolm's chest, toying with the thin hair upon it, the sopping smell of forest permeating the air just as it had in the Enchanted Forest. Felix fell asleep, curled up alone in bed and letting his dreams take him away.

 

"Felix?" Ruby's voice called from behind the door, "Are you awake?"

Mumbling as he rubbed his eyes, Felix sat up slowly in bed, "Yeah."

Pushing the door open, Ruby walked in with a plate of pancakes and a glass of orange juice, "Courtesy of Granny," She placed the plate on the bedstead beside him, watching him carefully, "Don't go to work today. You know _he_ will be there."

Felix flinched at her words, hands fisting into the sheets.

"You deserve better than him. I mean, you're still young. You don't need to stick with some greasy old man just because you used to know him."

" _He isn't just some old man_ ," Felix whispered, "Peter and I have been through much worse. We've spent centuries together and we've overcome everything that's been thrown at us. Like… when he fell in love with Wendy, he still came right back to me afterwards. Or when he tried to-" He cut himself off, unable to recount the moment before his almost-death.

What did Peter do to make it up to him?

A kiss to his forehead shook him out of his thoughts. Ruby lowered him back on the bed, placing a cover over the pancakes, "Take the day off. Don't worry about it," She left, no doubt fearing that Felix would somehow reason with himself to find Malcolm again if they kept talking.

Falling back into his bed, Felix watched his reflection in the glass of orange juice, realizing that he had fallen asleep in his uniform. He'd need to iron them out before going back to work. He stripped down immediately, shucking on a loose pair of pajama pants before lifting the cover and eating breakfast.

 

Ruby was utterly unsurprised when Malcolm sauntered into the diner well past noon with eyes reddened from alcohol, "Where's Felix?" Malcolm muttered, voice gravelly and dry.

"He took the day off," Ruby replied, folding her arms.

" _I'm not in the mood_ ," He grumbled, clearly hung, "Where is he?"

Ruby shrugged, not giving him any wiggle room, "I haven't seen him."

Malcolm growled again, stepping into her space and nearly shouting, "Don't toy with me!"

Ruby said nothing, eyes narrowing. Everyone in the diner followed suit, looking down at the scraggly-looking scoundrel stinking of alcohol. Malcolm stepped down, eyes averted as he composed himself, " _Please_. I said something awful to him. I have to apologize."

"Felix wants some space right now," Ruby replied, "Now order something or get out."

Malcolm was a drunkard but he wasn't a fool. He knew Felix would only turn to Granny or Ruby for help so he figured they must've brought him to the Bed and Breakfast. He entered the inn, ready to sprint up the stairs to find Felix only for an _arrow_ to sail past his head and plant itself in the wall.

Malcolm stumbled backwards with an undignified sound, glaring at Granny who stood in the opposite room with her crossbow poised, "What the hell was that for?"

"You know exactly why," She replied, casually loading her crossbow, "Give the boy some space."

"No," Malcolm huffed, "I'm going to apologize to him. I'll take him out somewhere nice and make it all better."

Granny rolled her eyes, stepping around Malcolm, "Have you ever wondered if this was for the best? Maybe that boy is better off without you."

Rage boiled in Malcolm's stomach at her words. Nostrils flared, Malcolm snarled, "Shut your damn mouth. What do you know about me and Felix?"

"If the gossip is right," Granny said, "You tried to kill him to curse Storybrooke but he ran away."

Malcolm paled at the reminder, surprised that this had spread so quickly, "I wouldn't have ever been able to go through with it," He convinced himself of this every day, telling himself that Felix's death was never once an option.

"That's not what you said last night."

Granny and Malcolm immediately turned to the stairs, darting up to where Felix stood, called out by the commotion. His eyes were weak, still tired from the night before.

Malcolm watched him, a heavy presence suffocating him briefly, "I'm sorry. I was drunk. I didn't mean it."

Felix said nothing, simply nodding to Granny and prompting her to let Malcolm up. He led him to his room, pulling out a stool for him before sitting on the bed himself. He flinched when Malcolm approached, trying to sit beside him, "Sit over there," He choked out.

"Please-"

"Peter!" Felix growled, the heat dissipating just as fast as it came, " _Just_ sit over there."

Startled, Malcolm stumbled backwards till he found the stool, sitting down on it and staring at Felix. The boy wouldn't dare to look at him, keeping his eyes on the carpet, "Don't do that."

"I don't want to look at you," Felix mumbled out.

Malcolm let out a heavy sigh, "What do you want to talk about?"

Felix cast his gaze onto another part of the room, pausing for too long, "Do you hate me-"

" _Never_ ," Malcolm cut in, "Felix, I've loved you for centuries."

"Do you hate me _for running away_?" Felix finished.

Malcolm shook his head, reaffirming his previous statement, "I was drunk."

"Why did you even drink that much anyway? You spent our entire budget," Felix snapped, "Is living here with me really that miserable?"

Malcolm sighed, his own temper just peeking through, "You don't understand what it's like. None of them laugh at you. You're just another Lost Boy who got caught up by Peter Pan. _Everyday,_ I walk down the street and people _laugh_ at me. Rumple mocks me every time I have to pass by his stupid shop to get to the diner. I had everything in the world and now, I'm right back to being the _town scoundrel_."

It was always a matter of pride with Pan. Felix took a deep breath, trying so hard not to blow up as Malcolm continued on, "They took away my magic, _my_ Neverland. I didn't even get to keep my youth. _You did._ How could you possibly understand what I've been through? That's why I said all those things. I know it was wrong of me but _could you really blame me?_ Which one of us has suffered more since this all began?"

"You wanted to kill me."

Malcolm's jaw snapped shut, almost speaking over Felix's quiet words.

"I stood by you for centuries. I was the _only one_ who stayed by your side and believed in you even when all the boys defected. And even after all that, you still wanted to kill me just so you could keep your magic and youth," Felix covered the tremble in his voice with a growl, "And I'm still standing by your side. So don't talk to me about who has suffered more because you are not winning that."

"… I'm sorry."

If only a single apology could make up for everything.

"Please, I'll do anything," Malcolm reached forward, trying to take Felix's hands only for the boy to jerk away, " _Please_. Come home. I'll ask Rumple for some money. We'll do anything you want," Felix shook his head, denying him once more, "Please!"

When Felix could hold out no longer, his eyes drifted upwards, meeting Malcolm's and immediately _swept away_ by them. Even now, years later when Malcolm was exhausted by his life, his storm-coloured eyes still pulled him in and excited him in ways he couldn't understand. He let Malcolm take his hands, unable to break away or even blink.

"I want-" Felix cut himself off, cut off by the memory of Malcolm's cruel interruption, "I want you to let me call you Mal."

Malcolm watched him drearily, the smallest smile on his face at Felix's request, "Anything you want."

 

 _Mal, Mal, Mal…_ Felix was smiling in his sleep clinging to the older man's head like a teddy bear and pressing wispy kisses to the top of his hair, "I love you, Mal," He murmured, catching the whiff of forest and musty wood from a hotel and not the clean, mechanical scent of a modern apartment.

A smooth chuckle made Felix melt into the sheets, "Sex at 5 AM? I can get used to this," Malcolm rolled Felix onto the bed, dragging his face down Felix's chest and leaving a path of kisses.

Felix weaved his fingers through Malcolm's hair, groaning and flexing in the sheets as Malcolm's fingers ghosted over his thighs, lips teasingly slow as they trailed down his stomach and promptly _blew a raspberry on it._ Leaping up, Felix yelped loudly and stared at an incredibly mischievous looking Malcolm, "Thought I was going to give you head?" He giggled, "That's naughty," He said, lowering his lips once more and blowing another raspberry while his fingers skittered around Felix's ribs.

"No! Stop!" Felix cried out in-between laughs, sandwiched between Malcolm and the bed and too desperate for his touch to genuinely fight back.

" _Naughty, naughty, naughty_ ," Malcolm continued to whisper, ending his assault when his lips finally returned to Felix's neck, "Naughty boys need to be punished, right?"

Felix groaned at his words, limbs wrapping around Malcolm as he culled the older man in for a kiss, "Punish me," Using his darkest memories, Felix rolled onto his stomach slow and deliberately, shoulders shifting and spine twisting in motions trained to seduce. He lifted his hips from the bed, grinding them against Malcolm's thinly covered crotch while he mewled against the sheets, " _Mal,_ I want you to punish me."

Malcolm shuddered at his motions, groaning loudly as he reached into his pajama bottoms and palmed himself to hardness, "As you wish," He crooned, the heat of his crotch causing Felix to sweat. He lay flat against Felix's back, hips lining up perfectly as he latched onto Felix's neck with his mouth and thrust forward, claiming the boy as he always did.

 

"You know," Malcolm hummed from the bed, watching Felix fix the collar of his uniform, "If I knew letting you call me Mal would lead to sex that great, I would've done it from the start."

It was never about the nickname but rather, Malcolm finally apologizing to Felix after all this time. He didn't have the heart to correct the older man so Felix simply smiled at him, "If you visit me at work, I promise it'll get better."

" _Oh you_ ," Malcolm groaned, grabbing Felix's wrist and pulling him backwards, "Just a quickie. Please? I'm already halfway there."

Felix sputtered at the suggestion, "No way. I've got work," He took both of Malcolm's hands as they reached for him, leaning in to share a hungry, passionate kiss, "See you later."

As Felix released Malcolm's hands, he found the older man gripping onto his wrists, a smile on his face despite the harshness in his actions. When Felix pried his hands off his wrists, Malcolm latched onto his fingers instead, his eyes suddenly round and soft like a puppy begging for attention. Reluctantly, Felix pulled away with one final jerk, leaving the apartment with his jacket.

It was well past noon by the time Malcolm walked into the diner, tired smile on his face as he marched right up to Felix during his coffee break and pulled him into a kiss, humming with pleasure as he amusedly eyed the disgruntled guests all around him.

"Table for one?" Felix replied, breaking away from the kiss and leading Malcolm to a booth.

"The usual for me," Malcolm said as he sat down, "And maybe a slice of pie as well," His eyes softened briefly when Felix pulled away and he reached forward, grabbing his wrist to stop him, " _Hey_ ," He whispered, beckoning Felix turn look at him, " _I love you_."

It took all of his willpower to tear away. Felix gave him one fleeting caress before returning to work, picking up a few orders at the counter and handing them off to other customers. Throughout it all, Malcolm watched Felix silently, eyes flickering over to the counter to see when his meal would pop up.

"Ahem," Ruby cleared her throat loudly as she placed his coffee on the table, "Didn't think I'd see you around."

Malcolm seethed at her voice, fighting the urge to flat out glare at her, "And why not? Felix and I made up."

"We're watching you," Ruby muttered, "If you try to pull anything…"

Malcolm wrinkled his nose in response, scowling when Ruby turned her back. He sipped at his coffee as he retrieved a stray newspaper left behind on the window sill. He flipped through it, distracting himself with an article about a new foster home opening for the Lost Boys. Groaning, he spat out the sip of coffee he had taken, " _Disgusting_ ," He mumbled loud enough for Granny to hear at the bar.

"Is it not good?" Felix asked from behind him, "It was my turn to brew it today."

"Ah, no, no," Malcolm quickly replied, turning around and taking Felix's hand, "I just hate coffee. Nothing quite like it on Neverland," He didn't want to let go, feeling like Felix would just slip away with Ruby if he did, "Why don't you sit down and chat? Not many customers today. No orders at the window. What do you say?"

An order from Pan was something Felix never learned to reject so despite his current position, Felix relented quickly and sat down across from Malcolm, "What do you want to talk about?"

Drumming his fingers against the table, Malcolm's eyes eventually fell back on the newspaper, "So, looks like some of the boys are heading to a foster home. Didn't have those back in the Enchanted Forest," His eyes twinkled when they met Felix's, "We should adopt one of them."

Felix let out a bark of laughter, "You? Raising a kid?"

"I did it before," Malcolm replied, mock-hurt in his voice.

"The last kid you raised turned into the Dark One," Felix replied, brow quirking up to copy Pan's trademark look.

"We were due for a new Dark One a century ago," Malcolm replied, matching Felix's eyebrow, "You're also doing it wrong. Your eyebrow needs to be much higher."

Felix scoffed, folding his arms with a smirk, "Are you turning 'eyebrow quirking' into another dick measuring contest?"

Snickering, Malcolm gazed as Felix, resting his chin on the back of his wrist, "We both know who'd win _that_ contest."

A bell sounded from the kitchen, cutting short Malcolm's plans as Felix carefully shimmied out from the booth and approached the counter, serving the new dishes. Malcolm huffed at the interruption, watching Felix with pouting lips as the boy sheepishly returned with his Eggs Benedict.

"Later, alright?" Felix said, returning to his work after Malcolm answered him with a smile.

The shift was not easy, having to cover both lunch and dinner to make enough rent for their apartment. Malcolm ended up staying at the diner the whole day, taking advantage of the free juice and bread rolls.

Ruby caught Felix as he took off his apron, getting ready to leave the diner and return home with Malcolm, "Hey. If Peter's bothering you, we can ask him to leave. He was staring at you this whole time."

Felix _smiled_ like Malcolm had just confessed his undying affection for him, "It's okay," It felt wrong of him to want Malcolm sitting at his side like a puppy solely so he could keep an eye on him, "Mal doesn't have anything else to do."

"Are you sure?" Ruby prodded, "We can ask Emma to keep an eye on him."

" _I'm sure_ ," Felix replied, voice stern like he was talking to one of the junior Lost Boys, "See you tomorrow," He didn't bother looking back when he left the backroom, spotting Malcolm already at the door holding it for him as he stepped out. He instinctively reached for Malcolm's hand only to find the older man's arm wrapped around his waist tightly.

"For tonight," Malcolm started, snickering, "I'm thinking we go to a bar. Drink a little, maybe play a bit of pool."

"Not… tonight. We don't have any extra money. Remember?" Felix reluctantly reminded. More than anything he wanted to waste the night away with Malcolm but reality ensued and Felix had to get them back on track, "Why don't we just stay home?"

"Ah, home," Malcolm reiterated, "Can we stop by the convenience store on our way then? Or I can get creative with the butter."

Laughing like teenage sweethearts, Felix took Malcolm by the wrist and pulled him along, happier than he'd been in a long time. He hadn't even realized that they passed the pawnshop, Malcolm's expression souring for just a moment when he caught his son's eyes behind the window.

 

" _Oh god, Mal_ ," Felix crooned, head tossing back into the pillows while Malcolm crushed him into the sheets, their chests pressed against one another with Felix's thighs perfectly bracketing his rhythmically snapping hips. He moaned again, twisting his hips _just so_ and making Malcolm groan, loud and guttural, "Mal! Mal! _Mal!_ "

A childish snicker, scratchy clothes scraping against his bare skin, "Nothing to be afraid of," The voice was a distant echo.

Felix opened his eyes, pleased to see _Mal_ over him, crushing his body into the sheets, "I love you so much," He sighed out between moans, "I missed you."

The vagrant's clothes faded away, leaving behind an identical copy of his lover in a drearier but cleaner form, "Missionary's getting boring, yeah? Want to switch it up?"

Humming seductively, Felix promptly squeezed Malcolm with his thighs and rolled on top, carefully lining himself back up and sinking back down, stretching himself with Malcolm's erect cock, " _Fill me up_ ," Felix groaned, dirty talking out of shameful reflex, " _Make me lose control_ ," He leaned in, lapping at Malcolm's lips.

Felix groaned when he was rolled onto his stomach, the sound of hot skin being slicked sifting through his rapid heartbeat, Malcolm spreading heavy spurts of lubricant onto his cock. He gasped when he felt the cool lube around Malcolm's cock inside of him and he shuddered, nearly coming right there.

"Harder, _harder, Mal!_ "

 

"AH!" Felix jolted awake when the alarm went off, having slept barely four hours.

Since the night Malcolm got drunk, the two had been having sex from dusk to dawn every night. At first, Felix figured it was simply make-up sex, trying to relive the heat and excitement they once had. As the nights went on and Felix began scrambling orders from exhaustion, he began to realize something _off_ about the way Malcolm held him or rather, _ravaged him_.

He rubbed at his eyes, his head somehow spinning as he recalled last night. He immediately eyed the few beer bottles by the bedside, remembering that Malcolm somehow produced lukewarm alcohol from under the bed and the two drank themselves silly. Felix figured he'd be messing up orders today.

He swung his legs over the bed carefully, feeling a pleasant ache between his loins and in his spine from the plethora of positions he had taken, some of which Felix swore Malcolm made up on the spot. The thought made Felix smile, watching Malcolm sleep blissfully. He leaned in slowly, pressing a kiss to his temple before tucking Malcolm in and stepping into the shower. As he rinsed himself off, he quickly noticed the amount of grease slicking his body, especially his buttocks and the complete disarray of his hair, knotted and tangled violently.

Felix barely had time to click his tongue before the shower curtain was pulled aside and Malcolm stepped in, looping his arms around his waist, "Morning."

Delighted by the contact, Felix twisted his head back and kissed Malcolm on the cheek, purposely grinding his hips backwards, "Aren't you tired?" He reached around him lazily, hand resting on the small of Malcolm's back as leverage while he grinded his ass into Malcolm's flaccid cock.

"Never too tired for _this_ ," Malcolm said, giggling as he thrust his hips forward, rubbing his cock into the cleft of Felix's ass while he palmed Felix from the front, "You were always the first to pass out."

Felix _laughed_ , groaning shortly after when Malcolm thumbed at his foreskin, "But that was back on Neverland. And besides, _old men get tired faster._ "

The comment was meant to be harmless which was why Felix was utterly shocked when Malcolm tore away from him, ripping open the shower curtain and storming out of the bathroom. The boy jumped when the door slammed shut and Felix quickly turned off the water, tying a towel around his waist and rushing out to see Malcolm sitting on the bed with a look of absolute contempt on his face.

The same look Felix imagined was on his face the night Malcolm was drunk.

"I didn't mean it like that," Felix whispered, "I was just kidding," If he concentrated hard enough, he could see Peter's spiteful expression bleeding through Malcolm's rugged exterior, eyes threatening to kill him with a look, "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you"

"Stay with me," Malcolm said as if _prepared_ for Felix's resignation.

Sighing, Felix fought the urge to avert his eyes, "Again? I'm going to lose my job," He flinched when Malcolm nearly flopped back into bed disinterested, "W-Wait! Wait… alright, fine. I'll stay. I'll call Ruby and tell her I'm sick."

A smile gracing his tired features, Malcolm reached forward and slid the towel off Felix's hips, wrapping one arm around his waist and hoisting him onto the bed. He laid him down carefully on his back, trailing his torso with kisses before taking his thighs into his hands and resting his face with at his cock. Felix groaned at the contact, _twitching_ at the touch of Malcolm's breath against his dick, "We have some extra money. Do you want to-" His body stiffened as Malcolm took him into his mouth, tongue scrubbing at the underside of his cock. Felix's mouth snapped shut, desperately trying to hold back his moaning.

Sliding out, intentionally leaving a string of saliva as he separated his mouth from Felix's cock, Malcolm simply said, " _No_ ," And proceeded to violate the slit of Felix's cock with his tongue and lips.

" _Oh god_ ," Felix sighed out, writhing on the bed as Malcolm thoroughly worked his tongue around his cock, " _But we just…_ "

The money that Felix had saved up went straight into alcohol and lubricant. Felix hadn't taken out the trash yet and he started stacking the empty plastic bottles into a pyramid during their downtime. _Thirty minutes_ of chores, hobbies, and distractions before Malcolm would take him back on the bed and _fuck his brains out_.

 _Fuck his brains out_ , Felix clicked his tongue, lying in bed and watching the setting sun from the single window. He hadn't meant to word it so crudely but softer phrases just didn't seem to match Malcolm's manhandling. He rolled over, watching Malcolm flip through the channels on their box television.

"Mal?" Felix murmured.

"How are you feeling?" Malcolm asked, eyes shrouded by the darkness of dusk, "You fell asleep."

"I'm exhausted," Felix replied, crawling up on bed and resting on the pillows, "What's for dinner?"

As if on cue, the doorbell rang, "I got delivery," Malcolm replied, stroking Felix's head before approaching the door.

"Delivery from where?" Felix asked as his stomach wrenched at the sight of Ruby holding a paper delivery bag at the door.

"Dinner for two and I included-" She cut herself off, seeing Felix healthy on the bed, Malcolm in nothing but boxers, and catching the pungent scent of sex wafting from both of them, "-Chicken noodle soup… for Felix's cold."

Was Malcolm this much of an idiot, unable to keep up his own lie? Felix held the blanket around his hips, swinging his legs off the bed, "I can-"

"A cold?" Malcolm inquired, his voice sounding honestly shocked and his expression no doubt matching, "That naughty boy. He told me he had today off," He silenced Felix with a look, appearing smug and self-righteous, "Just what am I going to do with him?" He shoved the money into Ruby's hands, ignoring the coins that clattered to the floor, "Here's your money. Bye," He shut the door quickly, preventing Ruby from inquiry.

Felix was absolutely _furious_ , "What was that?" He muttered as Malcolm leisurely placed their dinner on the nearby desk, "I called in sick _for you_. I could lose my job because of you!" He stood when Malcolm ignored him and continued taking out their dinner from the paper bag, "Mal!"

 _Growling_ at that damned pet name, Malcolm turned around and shoved Felix onto the bed. He climbed after him, hands searching and eyes locked onto his throughout the entire assault. Weakness overtaking him as he gazed into Malcolm's maliciously hypnotic eyes, Felix could only find the strength to force himself not to fight back, gripping into the sheets as Malcolm palmed both of them to hardness, eventually rutting their hips together, chests scraping together till the skin smarted with heat.

Felix let out a tiny moan as he came, eyes rolling back and spine arching off the bed. Malcolm came shortly after, purposely blowing his load all over Felix's stomach and _smearing it_ over his skin. Felix groaned in disgust, catching his breath before propping himself up on his elbows to glare at Malcolm, "Is that all?" There was no afterglow, simply a hateful, awkward buzz in the pit of his stomach that made Felix want to throw up.

Malcolm's eyes were ice cold as he returned Felix's stony glare, instantly winning their staring contest, "Dinner's getting cold," He said, wiping his hands off on the filthy sheets and leaving the bed.

 

 _"Shhhh, it's okay_ ," _Mal_ whispered in a gentle, soothing voice, "I'm here."

Felix stared into Mal's eyes, finding no hatred or ice behind them. It was the dead of night but Felix still laid wide awake on his side, staring into his imaginary phantom while the real Malcolm snored behind him, "What do I do?"

"Ignore him. Just go to sleep, go to work, and I'll be waiting for you when you get home," Mal replied, stroking Felix's hair, "Just like how it used to be," He placed his hands on Felix's cheeks, holding him so he couldn't turn to face Malcolm, "Concentrate on me. Forget everything else."

Memories before Neverland, curled up in bed and entwined for hours in heart and body. The early years back in Neverland, nearly a century before their careful relationship began to crumble. Staring at Mal brought all of those cherished memories back, shutting off reality and whisking Felix off into sleep.

 

The next morning, Felix didn't bother waking Malcolm, entering the bathroom and purposely locking it behind him. He heard the doorknob rattle but thought nothing of it, simply finishing his shower and finally washing off the days of grease and grime from his skin. He would've been embarrassed with his state of cleanliness if he hadn't spent the last two centuries living in a jungle, sleeping on bed rolls on the dirt. He spent nearly an hour simply trying to get his hair into a presentable state, settling on an unruly bed of curls that was passably clean.

Folded up neatly beside his towel was his uniform which he promptly sprayed with deodorant. He figured this would be a health hazard but he couldn't risk showing up to work without a uniform after yesterday's debacle. He dressed himself quickly, figuring he'd towel his hair dry and let the sun handle the rest on his walk over to the diner.

Dreading this moment, Felix fully expected Malcolm to be sitting on the bed facing him when he left the bathroom. He had hoped the expectation would've softened the built-in submission that always kicked in. No such luck and Felix found himself ducking his head in submission.

"You're already in uniform," Malcolm commented, eyeing the crimson trousers and collared top.

"I have work," Felix replied, distracting himself with pointless clothing adjustments in the mirror, "Are you going to visit today?" No reply from Malcolm, "I'll take that as a no," Still nothing. Felix desperately tried to not let that get on his nerves. He opened the front drawer by the door, reaching for his keys and nearly shutting it until he noticed something vital missing. He pulled it wide open, reaching inside and sweeping the wooden surface, "Where is it?"

"Where's what?" Malcolm finally replied.

Sighing tiredly, "Our savings."

"Must've misplaced them."

Felix marched forward, staring down at Malcolm, "Stop this. I know you have it."

"You're paranoid."

"Mal!" Felix shouted, hands fisted at his sides and using all of his willpower to stop himself from exploding.

Infuriating in expression and stance, Malcolm simply looked into Felix's eyes and pat the bed beside him, "Stay," He gave the bed a second pat when Felix stayed quiet, "Stay with me."

Felix would lose his job and then where would they be? He tore away and ran out before he could have the chance to reconsider. This was the first time he had ever rejected a direct command from Peter Pan.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Felix announced as he entered the backroom with Ruby, tying his apron on, "I was feeling better after lunch but I figured I should take the rest of the day off," He paused, waiting but receiving no reply, "Ruby?"

"Did Peter make you stay?" Ruby asked, utterly not amused.

Felix lost the edge in his voice, " _No_."

"Felix, if he's forcing you to stay with him against your will, you need to leave him," Ruby said, clearly concerned but irritated, "Emma can keep an eye out for him and Granny has free rooms for you to stay in."

 _Leave him?_ When Felix thought about it, since that year when Felix had chosen Hans over Malcolm, he actually hadn't left Peter's side ever since. For centuries, he was Peter Pan's loyal Lost Boy, Malcolm's lover. To even consider leaving Peter's side was an impossibility, _an insult_ to their time together.

Growling out of reflex, Felix nearly stormed out of backroom. Ruby meant no harm but any insult to Pan felt like a personal attack. His mood translated unfortunately into his demeanor, scrambling up orders once more leading to lousy tips and disgruntled customers. Granny approached him the second time, pulling him aside after handing off breakfast to Dr. Hopper, "We need to talk."

"Mal's not hurting me," Felix snapped, angry for no particular reason, "Stop accusing him."

"It's not about that. It's about the way you're treating the customers," Granny corrected, her words causing Felix to back down, "We can't have you scaring off our customers. Your behaviour is unacceptable."

 _You're fired_. Felix stiffened at the undeclared statement. He hung his head immediately, sinking back into submission, "Oh."

A sigh came from Granny at the sight of Felix's dejected expression, " _But_ , I understand that you're still getting used to the city life. I'll let you go with just a warning this time, alright?" Felix nodded back weakly, forcing a smile onto his face. Granny gave him a reassuring pat on the cheek, "You're a young and able boy with your whole life ahead. Don't let this drag you down too much," She nodded with approval when Felix's smile widened, giving him a second pat before returning to the bar, "Take your break now. Ruby will cover for you."

The weight in his chest dissipating, Felix settled down temporarily. It had been centuries since Felix had an adult dote on him, the closest being Tinkerbell who'd drop by at the tree house here and there. Humming, Felix wondered if he should try to find the fairy, guessing that she'd probably be the one helping the Lost Boys settle. Watching the diner slowly fill up, Felix decided to pour himself a cup of coffee. He figured the caffeine could help fight off the exhaustion from last night.

"Felix!" Malcolm's voice declared.

The weight promptly returned and Felix flinched, accidentally pouring coffee all over the counter. He placed the coffee pot down, scrambling to wipe up the coffee with a towel before Malcolm approached.

"Hold it right there!" Granny said, cutting in between Malcolm and Felix, "You've spent the last few days loitering in my diner. Enough is enough, leave before I call the sheriff."

Despite Granny's well-intentioned actions, Felix was utterly distracted by Malcolm, Granny's words fading out as he focused on Malcolm's curiously _clean-shaven chin_ , "You shaved off your beard."

Snickering, Malcolm tilted his head so he could make eye contact with Felix past Granny, "Thought I'd freshen up a bit. It was starting to get tangled," He smiled smugly at Granny, purposely towering over her, "And I was simply here for brunch. After that, I'll be on my merry way," He waved Felix over, overjoyed when the boy willingly left Granny's side to bring Malcolm to his booth. He left for the kitchen shortly after, dropping off a few orders on the way.

" _No._ No way!" Ruby shouted as she left the backroom, immediately spotting Malcolm and rushing over, "Stay away from him, pervert."

" _I'm sorry_ about yesterday," Malcolm said abruptly, stunning Ruby with his sudden compassion, "It was my fault. I kept… _getting drunk_ and screaming things at Felix so he skipped work to take care of me. Don't blame him for what happened yesterday. If you have anyone to be angry with, it's me."

"If that's the case," Ruby said, crossing her arms, "Then perhaps he should move out for a bit."

Malcolm blinked, serene look on his face, "Perhaps. If that's what he really wants," His gaze drifted over to Felix as the boy rushed out from the kitchen, eyes wide and cheeks heated with embarrassment, "Ruby and I were just talking about you."

"About yesterday," Felix started, only to be cut off by Ruby.

"Malcolm already explained it. He said it was _his fault_ , right?" Ruby said, peering through her lashes at Malcolm.

The older man nodded, a kind smile as he looked at Felix, "I've been unfair to you and I went too far yesterday," He took Felix's hand, enveloping it with both his hands as he spoke, "I put the money back too. Didn't take a cent of it," He picked up Felix's finger, dragging it over the stubble on his chin with a smile, "And I left a bit of stubble behind. Know how much you love that."

A smile finally cracking on his face, Felix gave Malcolm's actions a small laugh, cheering up for the first time in this morning. Still wary but happy for Felix's sake, Ruby backed off, returning to the counter to pick up a few orders.

"The usual then?" Felix asked, nudging Malcolm's chin playfully.

"The usual," Malcolm replied, toothy smile _innocent_ like the child Pan was supposed to be, "Extra fruit on the side."

Jotting it down on a notepad, Felix nearly walked off till he felt an abrupt _slap_ to his ass, stunning him, fingers groping far too intimately to be an accident. He whipped around, watching Malcolm whistle innocently as he tapped his fingers against the table.

The invasive touch reminded Felix of his time at The Crooked Man, shamelessly prodded and groped by drunk customers who'd eagerly pay a quick shilling for a blowjob in an alley. It was all Felix could imagine as he served his customers, remembering _Mal_ who wanted to touch him in public just as much as the next sleaze but always restrained himself at Felix's command.

"Felix?" Ruby asked, shaking him from the smog of his thoughts, "Are you alright?"

He couldn't shake the memory from his mind, unable to get over the fact that Malcolm groped him in plain view of everyone in the diner, " _Um_ ," Felix choked out, "Washroom," He mumbled, walking swiftly around Ruby and into the back.

Felix didn't bother shutting the door, simply rushing over to the sink in the men's room and turning the blue tap all the way to the right, letting the icy cold water run through his fingers before splashing it into his face. He was getting worked up over _nothing_. These past few days, Felix felt like he'd crumble at even the slightest thing, his centuries as the charismatic, stone-cold leader of the Lost utterly erased from his life leaving nothing but his pathetic seventeen years.

"Are you okay?" The unmistakable accent asked.

Felix flinched violently, whipping around when Malcolm stepped into the bathroom, "Don't do that."

"I'll knock next time."

"Not that," Felix snapped, hands on either side of the sink as he watched Malcolm from the mirror, "I meant _groping me_ in the diner."

Malcolm looked shocked at the accusation, "We did it all the time back in Neverland."

"It's different," Felix replied, throwing a glare over his shoulder.

"How?"

There weren't words to describe it but it was _different_ , just like it had been back in the Enchanted Forest, "Just don't," The door shutting behind him was the only warning Felix had before Malcolm's palms were flat against his ass. He gasped, shuddering and shoving at Malcolm from behind, "What did I just say?"

"We're not in public," Malcolm replied, "It'll cheer you up."

"I'm not in the mood," Felix grumbled, grabbing Malcolm's wrists and holding them away.

Malcolm clicked his tongue, pressing his chest flat against Felix's back and still trying to wrestle away his hands from Felix's grip, "I came all this way to see you and I apologized to Ruby. I think I deserve just a bit recompense."

"Recompense?" Felix gasped out, turned around suddenly and thrust into the wall as Malcolm yanked his wrists away and undid his belt, simply flipping the apron away as he hooked his fingers into his pants, " _Wait_ ," Felix said, shoving at Malcolm's chest, "Mal!" His mouth snapped shut shortly after, terrified that Ruby would drop by and catch him like this.

"It'll be fun. _It'll be fun_ ," Malcolm repeated under his breath over and over, lapping at Felix's neck, "We had fun like this in Neverland, didn't we?" He whispered huskily, undoing Felix's fly and slipping a hand into his boxers, "The _anticipation_ of getting caught by one of the boys. It was exhilarating," He took Felix's left wrist, unbuckling his own belt before stuffing Felix's hand down his pants, forcing him to jerk him off, " _Oh god…_ "

Felix whined quietly as Malcolm cupped his hand and dragged it up and down against his hardening erection, "It's diff-," Felix whispered, cutting himself off with a moan as Malcolm's fingers worked Felix's flaccid cock, finding every single hotspot from memory and rubbing at it till Felix melted against the wall, " _Right there!_ " He cried out involuntarily when Malcolm slipped a finger past his foreskin, immediately forgetting his current situation as Malcolm rocked his body.

Fully expecting such a response, Malcolm released Felix's left hand, letting the boy continue on his own. He reached into his back pocket, producing a wrapped condom. Tearing the wrapper off with his teeth while maintaining a steady rhythm on Felix, he fitted the rubber ring over his thumb and forefinger, slipping it perfectly over his erection peeking out from his jeans. Snickering in praise to his own skill, Malcolm's now free hand returned to Felix, sliding off his gaudy red pants and kicking them into the corner when they crumpled onto the floor.

"W-Wait," Felix gasped, clutching into Malcolm's jacket as the older man pressed Felix firmly against the wall, sandwiching him to the hard surface, " _Wait_ ," He said again, Malcolm lifting him by the thighs so his knees were on either side of Malcolm's waist, "Wait…Wait!"

"Shhh," Malcolm whispered into Felix's ear, backing up to stare lovingly into his eyes, "The condom's lubricated. Don't worry," He reached for the hand soap at the sink, squirting just a bit in his fingers and rubbing it against Felix's opening. He shuddered as Felix _twitched_ under his fingers, flesh hot and wet as he took hold of Felix's hips and shoved himself deep inside, hips slapping together.

Shaken by the intrusion, Felix threw his head back and nearly knocked himself out against the wall. He clamped down on his wrist, nearly biting through his skin as Malcolm rutted against him, fucking him harshly against the wall. He had one hand fisted in Malcolm's shirt, his only leverage while Malcolm pulled at and plied his body.

" _Mal_ , what if someone…" Felix gasped loudly, clamping back down on his arm when Malcolm released one leg off the wall, letting it drop to the floor where his toes barely met the cool surface. His free hand took Felix by the cock, jerking at it while he doubled the pace of his thrusts, driving in deeper and rougher till Felix's eyes slid closed and his body slumped into the wall begging for Malcolm to _wreck him_.

 _The anticipation of being caught_ , the humiliation of being _Pan's slut_ both mortifying and exciting. Felix's thoughts were beginning to blur, forgetting the organized, civil life on Storybrooke and nearly returning to Pan's lawless Neverland.

Gripping into his thigh harder for stability, second hand coming up to take Felix by the hair and yank it back, he rested Felix's forehead against his own, breathing in his air as he spoke, "Look at me," He murmured, hand drifting back down to Felix's thighs and lifting them back up so he could find no leverage with the ground. He nearly giggled when Felix opened his eyes, tossed up and down while impaled on his cock but doing his best to concentrate on the man before him, " _Come for me._ Say my name when you _come_ ," He lapped at Felix's neck, moving up and nipping at his ear when he resisted, " _Scream it_ , Felix. Scream my name."

Nearing his orgasm, mind hazy and weak, Felix was already mouthing Malcolm's words, lips so close to his face that he could barely distinguish them from his own. His wrist dropped limply beside him, swinging under Malcolm's unrelenting rutting. His voice was already getting higher, moans turning into whines as he threw his head back and nearly screamed, " _Malcolm!_ "

Everything stopped at that very moment, hitting his climax and spurting hot come all over their stomachs and Malcolm _frozen_ in spot. Felix didn't understand at first, breath coming out desperate and noisy, slumping against the wall as he rode out his afterglow. Malcolm hadn't come yet, still hard and buried deep inside him. It was curious as Malcolm loved timing their orgasms perfectly. Instead, _Malcolm stopped moving_.

"Mal?" Felix murmured, curious till Malcolm grabbed his hips with bruising strength and slammed back into him, making Felix scream for a whole different reason.

Well past his afterglow, Felix felt nothing but throbbing heat and discomfort as Malcolm rutted into him like a dog, eyes hollow and barren as he ravaged Felix, treating him as nothing more than a living sex doll. Groaning and weak, Felix clung to Malcolm pathetically, whole body shuddering when Malcolm came, the heat contained in his condom but still searing hot.

No pillow talk, no teasing, Malcolm simply pulled out of Felix and _dropped him to the ground._ Hitting the floor with bruising strength, Felix could do nothing but watch as Malcolm peeled off his condom, tucked himself away, and walked out of the bathroom. Utterly confused, Felix could only dumbly stare at the unlocked door, eyes eventually drifting to the discarded condom on the floor and then back to where Malcolm once stood.

Disgustingly sticky, pungent with sex, Felix couldn't return to work where Ruby would figure out exactly what had transpired even without her enhanced sense of smell. He felt empty when he stood up, insides too hot and limbs too weak to support himself. Wetting several paper towels and wearing only his boxers, Felix slowly wiped himself down. A shower would've been best but he hadn't the resources so a simple wipe down with water and hand soap would have to do.

The doorknob rattled, Felix's stomach wrenched once more as he stared wide eyed at Ruby while he was nearly naked and the whole bathroom was still stinking of sweat, cheap cologne, and sex. The paper towel in his hand still had spots of come.

"I can explain," Felix whimpered out.

 

Felix wasn't fired despite all odds but three days later, _Malcolm was reported to the sheriff._

"What the hell is this!" Malcolm snarled, hurling the newspaper onto the bed next to Felix.

Felix flinched at the impact, spotting Malcolm's name under the _registered sex offender_ headline.

"Malcolm Peter Gold," Malcolm hissed out mockingly, "Reported by an anonymous witness for _molesting a seventeen year old boy_ at Granny's diner," He picked up the paper, scanning over the short article before hurling it onto the floor, "No charges have been laid. _Fantastic._ "

Malcolm paced back and forth in the room, combing his hands through his hair over and over till Felix thought he may go bald from the stress, "I don't know who reported you."

"I bet _Ruby_ had a say in this," Malcolm grumbled out, "That bitch just loves to see me squirm."

Felix had questioned Ruby in the morning, filled with anger at his supposed friend. With all honesty, Ruby promised that she had nothing to do with the article, knowing that despite her disapproval of Malcolm, it was a fully consensual affair. Someone in the diner must've reported him, mistaking their romp for rape. He didn't want to risk correcting Malcolm, knowing how much he hated that on top of his ill mood.

" _Molesting a seventeen year old boy_ ," Malcolm growled out suddenly, "You're centuries older than most of the people in this town," His glare suddenly focused on Felix, closing in on him as he said, "Did you tell her I was molesting you?"

Felix shook his head quickly. _Never in a million years_.

"I swear if you had _anything_ to do with this," Malcolm's threats were laced with Pan's venom, the same venom he'd use to speak with the Darlings or the enemy mermaids.

"I didn't!" Felix shouted frantically, unable to stop staring at Malcolm as he paced threateningly across the room, "We'll get through this together."

Malcolm scoffed loudly, eyes meeting Felix's once more, "We? There's no _we_ in this. You'll get through this just fine. The poor little victim who was raped for three centuries by Peter Pan while I get _spat on_ by this entire town!"

"M-Mal, please," Felix reached forward but had nothing to offer but empty promises. He could comfort him in the only way he knew how, "Sleep with me. It'll make you feel better."

Malice in his voice and distrust in his eyes, Malcolm yanked his jacket off the desk, "No thanks. I'd rather not be reported for molesting you again," He stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him as he left Felix all alone in the apartment.

"He hates me," Felix whispered, reality fading away as he sat limply on the bed.

Dry walls replaced by moldy wood, the clean scent of an air freshener fading away, Mal sitting behind him on the bed and embracing him, "It's not your fault."

"Of course it's my fault," Felix replied.

"How?" Mal asked, resting his chin on Felix's shoulder, wiping away the streak of kohl on his cheek, "You did nothing wrong. He was the one who couldn't resist. Just like all those other customers who got in trouble with their wives."

"I should've let him take my heart."

Mal was without words to respond.

"He's _miserable_ because of me. I don't want that. It would've been better that way."

A hand came over his lips, silencing him gently, "Shh. Don't say that. Don't ever say that. I'd rather die than lose you."

A chuckle at Mal's kind but misleading words. Felix opened his eyes, seeing the cold, dingy apartment walls once more. He'd lost everything he had to Peter Pan. It was only fitting to lose his mind as well.

 

Malcolm stopped visiting altogether. He stopped trying to pretend like he wasn't siphoning away Felix's savings, blatantly taking his money to buy cheap beer and leaving the bottles strewn on the floor. It had gotten to the point where Felix ended up taking all of his money with him to work, storing the bills safely in a satchel only to come home to Malcolm pawning off their belongings for money. Their television was the first to go.

Every night there'd be screaming matches, Malcolm accusing him, blaming him, screaming that it was _all his fault_ even while sober. Felix would always lose, always be the one locking himself in the bathroom and begging that Malcolm would stop shouting past the door and go to bed. He never learned how to beat Pan in an argument in three centuries and he wasn't going to learn now.

At the end of it all, Mal would be there, sitting patiently in his hovel while Felix emptied his heart and screamed at him, calling him a worthless scoundrel, good-for-nothing, epithets he would never dare to scream at the real Malcolm. He'd then pass out during his fantasy, waking up to find himself manhandled in bed, slicked up and palmed to hardness with Malcolm looming over him like a shadow.

Sex was rough, violent, and Felix never came at the end, little more than a socket for Malcolm to relieve himself in. Felix never turned him down though. It was one of the few things still exclusive between them. For centuries, Pan never took another person to bed, none of the Lost Boys, not even Wendy. At least, that's what Felix told himself. He never dug deep, assuming the best of Peter and the exclusivity of their relationship. However, with the proof staring right back at him, perfume in the sheets, erotic text messages on his phone, Felix could no longer ignore it.

"Who was she?" Felix said, voice edging on a growl.

Malcolm looked up from the bed, eyes tired and but irritated, "You're paranoid."

"The sheets smell like perfume," Felix said.

"It's just a new cologne."

"Don't you think I know what cologne you wear?" Felix nearly shouted, hands fisted at his sides, "Who was she?" He could feel the heat bubbling inside him, worsening as Malcolm slouched back on the bed with his back to Felix, "Why won't you face me?"

Malcolm grumbled his reply, "Because there's nothing to talk about. You're just paranoid."

Felix didn't want it to come to this but he was paying Malcolm's phone bill and he had every right to check the numbers, "Was it Drizella?" At the name, Malcolm stiffened in bed, "Are you sleeping with her?"

"How do you know that name?" Malcolm sat up, glaring at Felix.

"Are you sleeping with her!" Felix shouted, only getting more infuriated when Malcolm refused to answer, "Why won't you answer me?"

Standing up, despite being shorter, Malcolm somehow dwarfed Felix with an intense look, "What if I am? Hm? What are you going to do about it?" He smirked when Felix remained quiet, unable to answer his debilitating question, "You're right. She's _one_ of the ladies I've brought up here. Happy now?"

" _What_?"

Felix couldn't move, not even when Malcolm closed in on him, their noses touching as he spoke, taking in Felix's breath and polluting it with latent hatred that came to be the day Felix fled from the well and robbed him of his victory, "I've had _plenty_ of women up here."

Felix nearly bit through his tongue, stumbling back when his arms felt boneless, "What the hell is wrong with you!" He nearly shrieked, hysteria building up inside him, "So that's what you do every time I'm at work? I know I… _ruined everything for you_ but I'm doing everything I can!"

"Why are you making such a big deal about this?" Malcolm growled, "I never had any problems when you used to _whore_ yourself out!"

Felix shut his eyes, breath jagged as he tried to calm himself. He heard Malcolm flop back onto the bed, taking Felix's silence as a victory. That word should've meant nothing to him. Centuries had passed since those awful years when he sold his body to survive. Yet, it was all he could hear, that single word echoing in his mind, robbing him of every happy memory he had left.

"Goodnight," Malcolm mumbled.

A sob.

Malcolm's eyes snapped open.

A second sob, a pathetic whine.

Malcolm turned, face slackening and brow knitting as he saw Felix. His body read _anger_ , hands fisted at his sides and muscles tense and trembling, but his face read _defeat_ , features twisted together as he fought the tears and sobs. His eyes were aimed on the glass bottles on the ground, unable to meet Malcolm's eyes and see _contempt_.

"Felix!" Malcolm cried as the boy opened the door and fled. He chased after him in nothing but pajama bottoms, "Wait!" He cried out as Felix ran down the hall. Using all of his strength in his decrepit body, Malcolm caught him just before he fled down the stairs, wrapping his arms tightly around his body and crushing the two together, "Don't go. Don't go. _Don't go_ ," He murmured into Felix's hair, lowering them both onto the floor when he felt Felix thrashing under him.

He stopped fighting when he knew it was futile, not because he wanted to stay. Felix could never free himself from Malcolm's clutches and it wouldn't change today. He hated himself for enjoying the feel of Malcolm pressed against his back, his kind voice whispering the softest words into his neck, limbs coaxed into docility.

_This man would kill him for his own victory. This man would hate him for wanting to live._

Felix fell back into Malcolm's embrace, letting the older man cradle him, "I'm sorry," Malcolm whispered, "Don't ever leave me," When Felix didn't respond, Malcolm repeated it again, and again, and again.

_"I'm sorry."_

It bothered Felix how peacefully Malcolm slept beside him. When Felix had finally given in, the two returned to bed, Malcolm spooning Felix with his arms tightly wrapped around his waist. In moments, the older man fell asleep, his gentle snoring acting as an indication while Felix lay awake unable to ignore the perfume wafting up from the sheets.

Who was this man who slept beside him, chaining him down with memories of a better life and the hope that someday, everything will be like it once was? His hands were cold against his stomach, his breath too hot and sour with liquor.

 _I want to go home._ To that dingy, little shack with the rickety bed and mice scuttling around on the floor where _his_ Malcolm lay beside him, swearing to love him even as Felix was worn away by the most sinful of encounters.

Hours later, Felix knew he wouldn't fall asleep. He slipped out from Malcolm's arms and started collecting the empty bottles on the ground, placing each one quietly in the trash bin. Crawling around on his knees and picking up trash was not the future Felix's envisioned the day Peter Pan welcomed him to Neverland.

"Felix?" Malcolm whispered, sitting up slowly with tired eyes, "What are you doing?"

Felix looked to him, eyes meeting for just a second before tearing away shamefully, "Can't sleep."

He shut his eyes when he heard Malcolm climb off the bed, fearing their eyes would meet. The older man sat before him, pulling him into his arms embracing him till Felix thought he would cry again, "I won't do it again," He pressed his face into Felix's neck, somehow compressing himself even tighter against him, "I promise."

 _Malcolm was a liar and a cheat_ but Felix had nothing else to look forward to except for his foolish belief that _someday_ everything would be as it once was. He returned Malcolm's embrace, nodding with no hope for a better life.

The charade went on. Felix would go to work. Malcolm would be laying in bed, beer bottles would begin to accumulate and Felix had no more energy to clean them up. Small talk would be pathetic attempts to spark some sort of heat between the two but would eventually fade, Malcolm dozing off while Felix would flip through the daily paper for a bit before laying down as far as he possibly could from Malcolm and shutting his eyes.

He'd find Mal, soft and sweet as he always was, caressing his cheek and feeling so much more real than the creature laying beside him. Every night, Mal would hold him close, whisper the kindest words as they made real small talk, going through the day and sprinkling innuendos throughout their dialogue. Then Felix would wake up to an empty bed that reeked of perfume and women's product.

 _Miserable_. Felix was miserable but he didn't want to admit it. Not yet.

"When were you at your happiest?" Felix asked Mal, resting his head on his lap.

Mal hummed at the question, stroking a hand through Felix's hair, "Hard to say. Probably that time in bed when I was unwell," He placed a finger on Felix's lips, silencing whatever snide remark he had, "And you were taking care of me. As usual, couldn't keep your hands off me and somewhere along the line, I said I wanted to marry you. _That_ is my happiest moment."

"Why?" Felix asked, nudging at Malcolm's chin with his finger.

"Because that was when you were at your happiest," Mal replied, his touch always pleasant.

Happiness conditional entirely on another. If he could make Malcolm happy again, then Felix could be happy as well. _But how?_ If he could jog Malcolm's memories, the same memories that kept Felix alive, then perhaps he'd be happy again. He had once lived a life where he was happy to have nothing in the world but the love of a simple whore.

 

"I don't usually go back on deals," Rumple said as he withdrew the antique ring from the display, "But in this situation, I think it's only fair," He shut the ring in its box, placing it on the counter and looking Felix in the face, "You're better off spending that money on yourself. Save yourself the trouble of coming back here to return the ring."

Felix shook his head, scowling at Rumple but knowing that his harsh suggestion did have merit, "This will make Peter happy," At his words, Rumple chortled, "What's so funny?"

"It took me twelve years before I figured my father was a selfish cheat. But you? You've had three centuries and you still haven't figured it out," Felix hung his head, unable to fight against Rumple's accusation, "Understand that the only reason you have such leeway with me is because I suffered the same way you have: Being _enslaved_ under my father's will."

" _Just give me the ring_."

Scoffing once more, Rumple slid the box across the counter, taking the small bundle of money Felix had saved up over the last few weeks. He didn't bother removing the bills from the envelope, assuming that Felix would be back for it.

 _Rumple was wrong_. That was the only thing Felix could believe to stop himself from giving up this foolish task. Despite the centuries that past, Felix would always remember the day Malcolm proposed to him in bed, delirious with sickness but still lucid enough to confess his undying love for him. It filled him with joy, made him feel like his pathetic life was actually worth living through, and he foolishly scorned it to run off with a prince.

Never again. He wouldn't leave Malcolm.

He opened the box, smiling just a bit at the diamond ring tinted the slightest bit of green. It was a used ring, hence why he was able to get it for a discount from Rumple. The local jeweler nearly laughed at him when he produced the meager amount of money he had saved. It didn't matter the cost; _Malcolm_ never cared for luxury.

Felix knew the scenarios in his head were far too perfect, knew Malcolm wouldn't finally snap awake, realize what he'd been doing, and swear to love Felix all over again. He couldn't stop himself though, nearly sprinting up the stairs imagining the true love reflecting in his eyes, the softest " _I love you too_ " on his lips.

So when he opened the door and saw Malcolm in bed with a woman, his heart _shattered_.

" _Oh,_ " The woman moaned. She was at least in her middle age, a harsh older face with curly brown hair splayed over the pillows. Her voice was light and tinged with a slight, haughty accent, "You are a bad man-!" She gasped, throwing her head back.

Malcolm giggled at the response, thrusting his hips harder, "Don't let your daughters know what you do when they're out," He snickered, lips dancing over her neck.

They hadn't noticed Felix, didn't hear his heart breaking into pieces, a pounding behind his eyes. He backed out, saving his dignity and shutting the door quietly behind him. When his back met the wall, he slid to the ground, hugging his knees and clutching the box in his hand hoping he could crush it into ash.

Hours had passed before that woman left the apartment, opening the door and surprised to find Felix slumped against the wall, glaring at her with tired, red-tinged eyes. Ignoring the chill of his gaze, she rolled her eyes and made her way down the corridor, disappearing down the stairs. Felix hadn't moved since he first settled by the wall, hugging his knees and begging that everything was a dream, that he'd wake up and find himself nestled in Malcolm's arms staring up at the cobwebs and dust of his shack.

He swallowed the bitter memory, forcing himself to find the strength to stand. It took him another hour before he finally got up and opened the door, peering over to Malcolm laying on the bed sleeping peacefully. He placed the ring on the bedstead, accidentally knocking off a few bottles and startling Malcolm awake.

"Sorry," Felix whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed and catching the strong scent of perfume.

Malcolm pawed at his eyes, rolling onto his back to look up at Felix, "I missed you," He said, a small smirk in his voice, "How was work?"

"Good," Felix replied, voice still quiet, "You didn't visit today."

"I was just so tired today. Couldn't leave the bed at all," Malcolm explained. The takeout containers on the desk behind him spoke otherwise but Felix said nothing of it, "I'll visit you tomorrow, okay?" His smile dropped when Felix didn't respond, his body trembling slightly, hands fisted into the sheets, "Hey…" He whispered again, crawling over on the bed, "What's wrong? What happened?"

 _What's wrong? What happened?_ Felix nearly bit through his own tongue trying to stop himself from screaming at him. Everything would be _over_ if he said a word, three centuries and seventeen years wasted. He swallowed his sadness, his rage, turning to Malcolm and shaking his head weakly, "Nothing," He murmured, "Just tired."

Smiling too kindly, Malcolm kissed him on the brow and laid him down on the bed, "Just rest. I'll get breakfast for us tomorrow. We'll eat it in bed. Sounds good?" He didn't wait for Felix to respond, reaching over his body and turning off the lamp on the bedstead, _completely missing the ring sitting at the base of the lamp._

 

"What's wrong? What happened?" Mal murmured, opening the door to his shack to find Felix sobbing at the front, pawing at his eyes. The boy tackled him into the room with a hug, gripping into the worn, scratchy material of his jacket and bursting into tears, " _Shhh_ … don't cry. Everything will be alright."

"I want you back," Felix cried, collapsing to his knees and clutching onto Mal as he followed him down, " _Mal_ , I want you back in my life."

"I am in your life."

Felix shook his head, "No you're not. He's not _you_. He's Peter Pan," He choked out, trying not to spit that name with the most contempt he could muster, "What did I do wrong? I gave him everything."

Mal sighed weakly, embracing Felix once more, "It's going to be alright. You'll get through this," The Malcolm of his memories whispered softly, promising him a better life on no real basis.

"You didn't know," Felix sobbed, cutting himself off, "You didn't know how happy I was when you said you wanted to marry me. I thought I could make him happy like that too."

Mal lifted Felix's chin, smiling at him sweetly, "You did nothing wrong. I will always love you till the end of time. I'm just… lost right now." _Lost in his memories._ Forever a figment of a man who used to be, "Just let me at him. I'll make him pay for making _my_ Felix cry!"

Felix let out a pathetic laugh, wiping away his tears as Mal punched at the air playfully. He collapsed against Mal's shoulder, hugging onto him and already feeling lightness return to his chest.

"I've got a good idea," Mal said, snickering as he lifted Felix to his feet, "Hold on. Alright?" He ran to his room, scrambling through the chest on the floor. Felix watched him from afar, confused at first till Mal returned with a piece of cloth tied into a ring, "It's a bit impromptu but I'm sure you get the idea," He dropped to one knee, Felix's heart lifting at the action and _beating_ , "Felix, will you marry me?"

Everything forgotten, even the pretense of reality, Felix nodded quickly and shut off his tears. He thought his heart would burst from happiness, overwhelming him and driving away all of the stiffness of the last few months. He lifted his hand, letting Mal slide the cloth ring onto his finger. The moment it was on, Felix tackled Mal down, both of them suddenly landing in a bed and not the floor, clothes disappeared and a _real_ ring on his finger. He pawed through Mal's hair, hands clutching him closer and closer till Felix thought it'd be impossible to separate them. His lips opened, their lips met, and the world-

 

Felix's eyes snapped open at the alarm.

The bed was cold.

He was alone.

He looked to his alarm clock, noticing the ring was still there untouched and ignored. Malcolm must've been picking up breakfast but Felix couldn't stop his mind from wandering to the worst possibilities. He curled up on the bed, ready to fall back asleep and return to the Malcolm in his dreams, the only one that still loved him.

 _I'm just lost right now._ Felix took in a sharp breath at the false memory. He didn't know why he was still so hopeful. He figured it was _desperation_. If Mal no longer existed than he had no reason to either. If he could make him happy enough to reawaken his lost memories, _Mal_ would be back. It had to be something drastic, more than an engagement ring. There was only one other thing Felix could think of.

"Ah, back again?" Rumple greeted, stepping around the counter and retrieving the envelope from his cashier, "Here's your money. Untouched."

"Save it," Felix replied, eyes steely as he spoke, "I want you to restore Peter's youth."

Rumple snorted at the suggestion, "You overestimate my generosity."

" _Please_ ," Felix spat out pathetically, "I know _Mal_ is in there somewhere. He just needs something to wake him up," He flinched when Rumple stepped away from the counter, "Rumple!"

The smirk on Rumple's face was condescending but creased with sympathy, something rare for the Dark One, "You think if you make him happy enough, if you give him everything he wants, he'll love you again, is that right?" Felix couldn't deny it, "It won't work. He won't love you because he loves himself too much."

"He once loved me," Felix pleaded. He and Rumple, they weren't the same. Malcolm couldn't handle the responsibility for Rumple. He was never meant to be a father but he was meant to be a _lover_ , "I'll do anything," He marched behind the counter, blocking Rumple from leaving, "Anything you want."

Rumple snorted, "You've got nothing I want."

The darkest desire suddenly settled within Felix's chest making it heavy with self-loathing and hatred. He lowered himself to his knees, softening his expression as he once did long, long ago and staring up at Rumple, " _Anything_ ," His hands came forward, resting at the bottom of Rumple's jacket, breath ghosting over him erotically.

A foot slammed into his gut, crumpling Felix over before Rumple stepped over him, "Disgusting," He growled, "Is that the only thing you're good at? Perhaps that's why my father kept you around."

" _Shut up_ ," Felix grumbled, dusting himself off and collecting his dignity, "You will never understand what we had," He choked on his words, "What we _have_."

A cruel chuckle came from Rumple, "I guarantee if he had to choose between your life and his _youth_ , he'd choose his youth in a heartbeat."

"He wouldn't."

"He already chose his New Neverland over you," Rumple's words were a cruel reminder, "What makes you think he wouldn't do the same for youth?"

Felix shook his head. Peter had been driven into a corner; he had no choice but to take Felix's life. If Peter had been given time to think, to plan, he would've never considered sacrificing him.

Rumple said, "Why don't we make this a wager then? I call my father in. I'll make a deal: Your life in exchange for his youth. If he doesn't agree to it, I'll restore his youth for free. But if he does agree," His eyes narrowed, "You may never make a deal with me ever again."

Felix hesitated and immediately hated himself for it, "Deal," He had faith in Peter just as he always had. _The same faith that would've killed him had he not run away that day._

 

Malcolm stepped into Rumple's store, a distinct frown on his face as he approached the counter where Rumple smugly stood, "What do you want?"

Having arrived as soon as the his afternoon shift ended, Felix had hid himself in the backroom trying to forget that _Malcolm hadn't visited him_. Not letting his paranoia take hold, Felix assumed he must've returned to the apartment first, leaving the food behind before heading over to the pawn shop.

"You know that _boy_ you have? Felix, was it?"Rumple said, too smug and too happy with terrorizing his father.

Malcolm's eyes narrowed, "What of Felix?"

"Well, he begged me to return your youth," Rumple's words were poisonous, "Shortly after, I found a spell that would restore your youth _in exchange for the youth of the person who loves you most_."

Felix pretended like he didn't see the sparkle in Malcolm's eyes, interest in Rumple's fake spell.

"Naturally, he agreed to the spell. However, I need your consent before I can carry it out," Rumple explained, "So, will you do it?"

_Say no. Just say no and we can be together again._

"Felix agreed to it?" Malcolm inquired.

_Please, just say no._

"Yes. You have his full consent to take his youth," Rumple replied, fingers drumming on the counter, "Just say the word, and I'll cast the spell."

There was a pause and Felix saw Rumple's disturbed expression through the reflection on the glass. _Say no. Say no. Say no. Say no._

Malcolm wet his lips, a breathless chuckle coming from his lips as he contemplated the deal.

_Mal!_

"Do it," Malcolm declared, "He agreed. So I'll do it."

…

Rumple smirked, almost laughing as he raised his hand, "Very well," He cast his magic, a funnel of green smoke enveloping his father before fading away, revealing the true _Peter Pan_ dressed in his trademark tunic.

Peter smirked, laughing heartily in the voice Felix had memorized, "Look at that. I guess I owe you now, don't I?"

Rumple scoffed, "This one's on the house. Now run along before Belle gets here," He moved slowly to the backroom, waiting for Peter to leave before speaking, "And now you see?"

A pathetic nod, slumped over his own knees, unable to lift his head. Rumple snorted, moving back into the front room while Felix stewed in his misery, sobbing dryly and finding solace only in his imagination, pathetically conjuring a phantom of Malcolm and imagining his arms wrapped around him.

 

No more gangly old women, no more desperate hags that existed solely to relieve himself. Peter promptly deleted Drizella and her mother from his contact list and sauntered out from the Rabbit Hole after mocking Simon and Cory over _Springs_. Peter Pan was back and even if he didn't have all his magic, his youth was enough to enjoy himself in this town.

Although, he figured he should've gone to Felix first, thanked him for his sacrifice. He wasn't at the diner so Peter figured he must've remained at the apartment when his youth was taken, too afraid to head out and see himself _old_. Gloating came first and when he realized his priorities, the tiniest sting came to his heart. _Felix deserved better._

Sighing, he returned to the apartment with takeout in tow, unlocking the door with one hand and haphazardly stepping over the bottles, "Felix?" The apartment was empty. Peter was thoroughly perplexed. Where else could Felix possibly be?

He flopped onto the bed, sheets cold as he expected. Felix hadn't been here for a while. He quickly dialed his number only to be greeted with an automated voice mail message. He hummed, putting his phone aside and staring up at the ceiling. Perhaps this was a good time to call a woman over…

Snickering, Peter rolled onto his side and reached into the bedstead, counting how many condoms he had left until his eyes fell upon a box sitting at the base of the lamp. There was no dust on it so Peter figured it must've been new. He opened it, eyes widening as he focused on the ring sparkling back at him.

_"I think about marrying you someday."_

_"I'll buy you a ring. Then you'll be mine forever."_

_"Move in with me. Marry me."_

Those distant memories rang in Peter's mind. The image of Felix taking in those words, eyes wide with surprise, face flushed beautifully in uncertainty and affection, a smile so rare that Peter wished he could box it up and cherish it forever. Opening his eyes, taking in the discarded bottles all over the floor, bills tacked to the wall with Felix's paychecks tacked beneath them, rotting food by the window, the scent of cheap perfume wafting from the sheets, Peter finally realized the sin he committed.

Cursing himself, Peter leapt to his feet, running to the closet to retrieve his jacket, determined to find Felix even through the dead of night. He swung the doors open and paused. All of Felix's clothes were gone. He whipped around to the drawers Felix had claimed for himself. _All empty._ The last place checked was beneath the bed, finding their shared duffel bag missing.

"No, no, no, no," Peter gasped, dialing Felix's number again, begging for him to pick up.

Stumbling out the door and nearly tripping down the stairs, Peter made his way to the pawn shop and stormed in, shoving open the door and slamming his hand on the counter, "What did you do?"

Rumple honestly looked surprised, expecting his father to be celebrating his newly returned youth, "What ever do you mean?"

"Where's Felix?" Peter growled, "You said you took his youth. Where did he go?" At his words, Rumple _laughed_ in his face, "What's so funny?"

"You honestly think _The Dark One_ cannot restore youth by his own power?" Rumple snickered cruelly, "I'm insulted."

Peter narrowed his eyes, shaking his head, "Then why did you mention Felix in our deal?"

"Because he was listening to us in the next room," Rumple replied, utterly _jovial_ in tone, "And now he finally sees you for the man you really are. Granted, I half-expected he'd figure it out after you tried to kill him but I'm not here to judge."

Fighting the tremble in his limbs, Peter placed the ring on the counter, "Find him. Use a locator spell on this ring," He slammed the glass cabinet when Rumple refused to respond with anything more than a smug look, "Do it!"

"Don't you know?" Rumple snickered briefly, "If you want to enlist the Dark One's help, you have to make a deal. And if you recall, _I don't make deals with you_ ," He moved away from the counter, confident that Pan could do absolutely nothing to him, "Word of advice, he'd probably be better off without you so perhaps you should do him that favour."

 

"It's not as pretty as Neverland," Felix whispered, sitting in the heart of the forest upon a cliff, staring out at the city, "Is it better than Calenhad?"

Mal shrugged beside him, fixing his ratty jacket, "Calenhad was pretty nice. Minus the Salty Mermaid, of course."

A small sigh came from Felix. At the sight of _Mal,_ he could already feel the sludgy kohl around his eyes, the sticky gloss he'd smear over his lips, "You're all I have left," He took Mal's hand, holding it firmly against the dirt ground, "Just… _memories_."

"Don't say that," Mal replied, "You can start fresh here. Forgot about Pan and move on."

 _Forget about Pan?_ The thought seemed suicidal. Centuries of conditioning had made Felix fully dependant on him. Even now after Pan had dashed his heart against the rocks, the core of his being still ached for him. Memories of a better life, of _Mal_ who wanted to marry him, of a Peter Pan before the hourglass began to dwindle, chained him to his wretched boy.

Felix shook his head, "You're still in him somewhere. I know it. And someday, you'll be back. _Won't you?_ " The only solace Felix could cling to was that he never showed Peter the engagement ring, never tested if that would awaken the old Malcolm. At the very least, Felix thought, he could pretend like it would. He looked down at the cloth still tied around his finger, the briefest smiles flashing on his face, "We're engaged. Just like you wanted to back in Calenhad."

" _Felix_ ," Mal's voice was low, "I'm not a good person."

"I don't care," Felix replied, "I love you."

Mal smiled weakly, staring into Felix's eyes, "Even when you were suffering to make ends meet, _I never once tried to get a job_. I didn't respect your space, thinking all you needed was a place to stay. I didn't comfort you after you were gang-raped by those pirates; _I slapped you instead_."

Felix's lip quivered, "W-What are you talking about?"

"I was never a good lover to you," Mal said.

Heart clenching at his words, Felix was shaking his head, "No, no, no, _no, no, no_ ," He mumbled out, letting go of Mal's hand and feeling the cloth ring drift to the dirt, "What are you saying?" He whined, "That I-I have no happy memories? That every choice I made was _wrong_? That it would've been _better_ if I just let Pan kill me that day instead of dragging it out?"

"I'm not saying that. You are."

As soon as the voice faded, the Malcolm of his memories did as well. Felix stared into nothingness, fighting the urge to beg the phantom to return, "It would have been better if I chose the prince," Felix murmured to himself, "I never needed anyone. Then you came along and I just couldn't go back to the way I was," He scrubbed a hand through his hair, fighting back tears, "I can't live without you."

"Then let go."

The voice was different, younger, smoother, and Felix turned to find West standing behind him, a second phantom urging him forward, "Let go," The second person who ever cared for him, who looked at him and saw more than just a whore in the street.

" _West,_ " The more familiar alias on his tongue, "I can't. It's too late for me."

"It isn't," West replied, "As long as you have those memories, you'll never break free. Then _erase them_."

 _Erase?_ He could ask Rumple to erase his memories but would he agree? Or…

"Rumple cursed both of you when you arrived," West reminded, "Step over the line and it will erase your memories."

_Three centuries and seventeen years, gone._

"But…" Felix murmured, his heart tugging at him. Chains _rattling_ as he struggled, "But _Mal_ …"

"Not once has that scoundrel done you right," West said, "Do the right thing and _break away._ "

Entranced by the voice he hadn't heard in centuries, Felix picked up his duffel bag and stepped forward, taking the prince's hand as he led him _home._

"What the hell were you thinking?" Ruby shouted, leading Peter and Emma along as she followed Felix's scent into the forest.

Peter shrugged weakly, "I get it now! I know I treated him badly. And I'm trying to fix things."

"Shut up," Ruby replied, "I'm not done yelling at you."

"Hey, hey, both of you," Emma piped in, "It's getting dark and we don't have time to bicker."

Ruby climbed over a stray log, wandering around trying to catch a scent before breaking off to her left, "The moment we find Felix, he's moving in with me and Granny."

Peter growled, running after her, "Hell no. He's coming home with me. I need to sort things right with him."

"There's nothing to sort right!" Ruby shouted, "You wanted to kill him. You _blamed him_ for wanting to live. You accepted a deal to trade his youth for yours. And you cheated on him with Ashley's sister AND her _mother_!"

Emma paused, eyes narrowing in disgust, "Ugh. I didn't hear that part of the story."

"You're absolute scum," Ruby tacked on.

"Oh please," Peter scoffed, "Felix and I have been through much worse. We've spent centuries together and we've overcome everything that's been thrown at us."

" _Hold up!_ " Emma shouted, blocking Ruby and Peter, "We're nearing the town line. Does Felix know about the town line?"

Suddenly urgent, Ruby ran on ahead with Peter in tow. Peter mumbled as he ran, shaking his head, realizing what Felix planned to do. He couldn't shake the image from his head: Felix staring at him like he was a stranger, no affection, three centuries and seventeen years _gone_ all because Peter was too selfish.

" _Right there_ ," West said, pointing to the fluorescent line on the ground, "That's it."

"Wow," Felix whispered, "There's literally a line."

West chuckled at his deduction, stepping over the line and gesturing to Felix, "Just step over and you can finally let Peter go."

His chest hurt at the thought, "What about _Mal_? Who will remember him?"

"It’s a sacrifice you have to make," West replied, "Memories of a man you once loved or _freedom_?"

"What about you?" Felix added, "Who will remember the exiled prince?"

West chuckled at the epithet, straying back and forth, "I'm sure there's some Westerguard lineage document talking about the prince that tried to commit regicide. Don't worry about me."

When Felix had no more excuses to delay, he still couldn't find the motivation to step forward, to erase all of his memories and start fresh. There was still so much he wanted to know, to _remember_ , "West!" He called to the prince, "If I stayed with you that night, would you have fallen in love with me?"

"I said I wanted a friend," West replied, coy smirk on his face, "But that's not an impossibility."

This was it. As soon as Felix crossed the line, all of his pain would be gone and along with it, the chains that bound him to Peter Pan. He brushed his hand through the air, watching the ethereal wall of magic swirl and splash like water.

"There's something I have to tell you," Felix said, "I guess I should've told you this back then but the occasion never arose."

West glanced over to him, fixing the cloak around his body, "What is it?"

"There's a reason why I knew you were from the Westerguard family. Back when I lived in the brothel, when I was the 'proper age', the matron set me up with my first customer: A noble who'd be gentle to me and would stop if I asked him to. He was Lord Westerguard of the Southern Isles."

West narrowed his eyes, "I see. Probably one of my brothers."

Felix nodded, having come to that conclusion himself in hindsight, "He was so kind. I thought all customers would be like him," He sighed, lips turning up at his own foolishness, "He gave me his handkerchief afterwards. That's how I recognized the insignia on your ring," He looked to West one last time before turning back towards the line, "I just wanted you to know that before I stepped over."

"Felix!"

To his surprise, West didn't fade away, his ghostly presence remaining ever beside him even when real people appeared. Felix turned slowly with his companion, watching Ruby, Emma, and _Peter_ running to him.

" _Felix_ ," Peter sighed out, stepping forward, "I found you-" Ruby snatched him by the shirt and jerked him back, both of them mortified as Felix took one step backwards towards the line, "Felix?"

Felix averted his eyes, locking onto West's instead, his stern but warm gaze keeping him strong.

"Don't do this, _please_ ," Peter murmured, "I'll fix everything. I need you in my life," He said, voice breaking.

In another time, in another world, Felix would've let his heart soften at those words. With West at his side and the misery of the past few days, Felix found the strength to resist, " _He'll hurt you_ ," West said, talking over Peter's pleas, "You deserve better."

Accepting the reality of his situation, that the Peter he once loved was nothing but a shadow, Felix met Peter's eyes and spoke, "Stop it," He said, voice quiet and calm, "Just stop it. I can't live like this anymore. I can't take it."

"Then don't," Peter shouted, stepping forward and making sure Ruby or Emma didn't interrupt, "Come home with me. I promise I'll stop," He took the ring from his pocket, watching it glitter under the starry sky, "That's what you wanted, right? Let's get married then. I'll fix everything."

"It's not that simple. Open your eyes, Peter," Felix growled, "We're not in Neverland. You can't get away with everything. This is reality," Peter was always so used to getting exactly what he wanted, bending the rules to suit his game, that he never once thought about what it would be like living in a world where he held none of the cards.

"I won't cheat on you anymore-"

"It's not about that," Felix said, shaking his head, "It's about… everything in these past few centuries. I gave you everything, my life, _my happy ending_ , and it still wasn't enough. It's never enough for you. _It never will be._ "

Peter was silent, unsure of what to say.

"I remember," Felix started, brows creasing in distress, "You used to ask me if I was happy. _Then you stopped asking me_ because you stopped caring. What difference did it make if I was happy or not? I'd be at your side and you knew that."

"I made a mistake," Peter said dumbly.

"You've made a lot of mistakes. And so have I."

Felix knew what was coming. Whenever Peter was driven into a corner, he'd lash out at Felix and pathetically, Felix would concede. He braced himself, feeling West's hand around his, comforting him.

"So that's it then? You'll step over the line and wipe away your entire life?" Peter started, voice angry but restrained, "Three centuries of your life, all gone? All wasted? What makes you think life could be any better?"

"Anything is _better than living like this_ ," Felix replied, "There's nothing you can say to me that'll make me change my mind."

Peter knew he had the engagement ring in hand but could find no strength to bring it up, "No. You do not get to walk out on me," His words were hollow. He was no longer on Neverland, no longer had any power, but Peter had yet to understand, "You are mine whether you like it or not."

" _Love is weakness_ ," Felix said suddenly, stunning everyone especially Emma who had heard the same words from Regina long ago, "Except, you don't love me. You just want to own me," He spat out the awful truth, seeing nothing but Peter's flaws, "You don't know what it's like to suffer for someone you love. When have you ever done that for me? That's why Wendy couldn't accept you, because you're selfish."

" _Shut up._ "

"A good-for-nothing scoundrel deserves exactly as he gets."

"Shut the hell up!" Peter screamed, suddenly pulled back by Ruby, "Let go of me!"

"Felix!" Ruby cried out, "No matter what you choose. I'll be on your side. All of us will," When she realized Peter would never be able to convince Felix to stay, she knew she had to step in, "But we don't know what might happen to you when you cross that line. You'll be a clean slate and you might find someone _even worse_ and everything you learned now about awful people and false love, all of that will be gone."

Her words were kind and in another world, Felix imagined he may have fallen for her. He smiled genuinely, West smiled as well, "Thank you. But it's a risk I have to take," Eyes back on Peter, seeing Malcolm in his place as he spoke, "A long time ago, I thought you took to me because you were just scraping the bottom of the barrel and you'd leave me the moment something better came along. I spent _years_ feeling guilty about that when all along, I was right about you. _I was stupid to think you truly loved me_."

Felix backed away from Peter, one foot stepping over the line, shutting his eyes, voices drowned out, _second foot joining him,_ and a pain finally lifting from his chest.

_Let go._

"Felix!" Ruby shouted, mortified as she watched Felix stand utterly still, eyes closed, breath slowing down. When his eyes reopened, they were wide and wild, confused and scared as he dropped his duffel bag and whipped around frantically.

Felix's voice was shaking, "Where am I? Where am I?" He mumbled over and over, unable to make sense of his world.

Emma had to hold Ruby back before crossing the line herself, unaffected by the magic. She took Felix's hand, spoke to him, tried to calm him down before leading him back over the line. Peter couldn't hear a thing, couldn't see a thing except for _Felix_ , empty and _lost_ but finally free.

" _No_ …" Peter whispered, clutching the ring tightly in his hand, " _No, no, no_ ," He murmured over and over. His beloved Lost Boy was gone, squandered by his own selfishness.

 _Look at me._ Felix's eyes were empty, uncaring as they glided over Peter like he was just another tree in the forest. _This can't be happening._ He shouldn't care. He ripped Felix's life apart slowly, trading away pieces of him for pleasure till Felix had nothing left but a crooked scar on his face. The difference was that he knew no matter what he did to Felix, no matter how much he suffered for Pan, _Felix would always love him anyway._

Finally, his self-indulgence and selfishness caught up to him.

Felix left him.

Peter failed.

Felix would rather be alone and lost in the world than be with him.

So Peter did the only thing that could ever redeem himself for Felix's sake.

He stepped over the line too so they could be alone and lost together.

 

"They both stepped over the line?" Rumple asked, honestly surprised that his father didn't simply take an amnesiac Felix and _groom him_ into another loyal servant.

Emma shrugged, honestly surprised as well, "So now we've got two boys who have absolutely no idea who they are."

The two glanced over to Peter and Felix, both of them sitting meekly on swivel chairs in the sheriff's office clinging to whatever possessions they had when they crossed the line: Felix with his duffel bag and Peter with his engagement ring. They stayed quiet mostly, glancing around and occasionally making eye contact before awkwardly looking away.

"Belle lost her memory before, didn't she?" Emma asked, "How did you get her memory back?"

"It was a potion Mother Superior made using Pinocchio's hair," Rumple explained, "But perhaps this is for the better."

Emma narrowed her eyes, "How so?"

"Pan's got plenty of baggage, trying to kill your son, enslaving dozens of boys, nearly killing his best friend to beat us. Perhaps wiping him clean is better for all of us," Rumple explained. This was as close to execution as they could possibly get, "And that other boy has suffered more than enough. This would be a mercy to him."

Ruby was kneeling to Felix, handing him a cup of water and helping him drink it when his hands shook, "Felix?"

"Felix?" Felix curiously said, "Who's Felix?"

"I think it's you," Peter said, nudging at him, "I think you're Felix," A small smile was on his lips when Felix turned away still confused, "I like the name Felix."

A chuckle from the tall boy, "Then maybe you should be Felix."

"What's my name?" Peter asked, looking up at Ruby with eyes far too wide and innocent.

"Peter," She replied, watching the two boys stare at each other with the smallest of smiles.

Felix's hands stopped trembling and he offered the cup of water to Peter. The smaller boy took it, flashing him a grin in thanks before taking big gulps of water. Felix watched him, eyes on his bobbing Adam's apple, utterly fascinated as Peter's eyes fluttered shut and his eyelashes settled on his cheek. When Peter opened his eyes again, he found himself once again unable to keep them off Felix, tilting his head as he examined the narrow-featured boy, tracing a finger over the curious scar on his face.

In response, Felix jabbed at Peter's cheek with his finger, attracted by his downy skin. Sputtering, Peter jabbed back, poking at Felix right at his chin. Childishly and playfully, the two began jabbing at each other out of sheer amusement, memorizing every motion of the other.

Emma, Ruby, and Rumple all watched with wide eyes and shock, seeing two once-sinister boys who would happily threaten to skin them alive stare at each other with child-like innocence.

"This is somehow more uncomfortable to watch than before," Emma commented, rubbing at her temples, "This has been a long day."

Rumple shrugged, "He's not my responsibility anymore."

Ruby sighed, figuring Rumple would cut off his ties with Peter as soon as possible, "I guess I can keep them with Granny. Maybe Felix gets his apartment and Peter-"

"I want to stay with Felix," Peter announced, his haughtiness returning to him without the underlying malice, "I _am_ staying with Felix."

Felix flushed at his words, biting on his lip anxiously and looking absolutely nothing like the miserable boy Ruby had grown accustomed to.

"I'll ask Granny for a double room then," Ruby said, looking over to Emma and Rumple and taking them outside, "Thoughts?"

Rumple shrugged, apathetic now that his father was no longer his responsibility. Emma peered back in, noticing how Felix continued to stare longingly at Peter even when the boy was turned away playing with the trinkets on the desk, "I'll collect their belongings from their apartment, keep anything that might trigger some bad memories. You set up a double room at Granny's and we'll see how it goes from there."

Filling up the sheriff's car with their belongings, Ruby waited in the passenger seat, watching Peter and Felix in the rear-view mirror. The boys were still utterly docile and meek, certainly not an act to trick them into dropping their guard.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" Peter asked, brow quirking up as he spoke.

At the gesture, Felix's mouth dropped before he turned away shyly, "You're… pretty."

Peter slapped him playfully on the shoulder, "Pretty? I'm a boy, you know."

The two of them ended up in a faux slapping matching, smacking at each other until Emma returned and started the car, "Didn't try anything?" Emma asked, turning down the road to Granny's bed and breakfast.

"Nothing. Just been chatting," Ruby replied, "They're… really different."

"I guess Gold's right," Emma said, "Perhaps it is better this way."

 

By the time Peter and Felix settled in their room, they were well past the dead of night and the sun was just peeking over the horizon. The two spent their time sorting through their supposed belongings, curiously finding a box filled with adult videos which both could only imagine that Emma rolled her eyes at the sight.

"Did we own those?" Felix asked, lifting up a tape and noticing the multitude of blonds on the covers, "They're probably yours."

"So you're saying I like blonds?" Peter replied, pinching Felix's cheek, "How egotistical," He reclined on his bed, watching Felix match the position on his own bed and wait patiently for him to start the conversation, "We don't even know anything about each other yet."

"I don't even know myself," Felix mumbled in truth.

Peter looked at Felix's feet, noting the duffel bag stuffed under it. He took the sparkling engagement ring from his bedstead, rolling it over his fingers gracefully, "Then let's guess. You had all your stuff with you and I only had this engagement ring," He leaned forward, "So… I guess we were eloping," Felix's jaw dropped as far as it could, his face looking dumb as he scuttled backwards when Peter climbed onto his bed, "I bet that mean looking old man was my father and he didn't approve so he wiped our memories somehow. But you now what? We're going to be together just to spite him."

"That's silly," Felix said with a chuckle.

"Come on, make something up. Be exciting," Peter goaded, prodding at Felix until the tall boy began making up stories with him.

Sprawled over the bed, telling stories to each other and building off one another's imagination, Peter and Felix eventually settled on the two being long-lost lovers in their past lives constantly searching for each other and Rumple as an evil sorcerer who purposely ripped them apart.

"Bet we had our own island. And a castle. And a dragon. And a unicorn. And we ruled together with an iron fist until we were separated in our past lives," Peter prattled on, head laying on Felix's stomach, " _Star-crossed lovers_. I like the sound of that."

Felix chuckled at the wording, "You want to be lovers with me?"

Peter furrowed his brow, rolling over so he could face Felix, "Don't you?" It hurt when Felix looked so confused and Peter immediately lifted himself from Felix, staring at him.

"We just met," Felix replied.

"Doesn't it feel right, though?" Peter asked, "When I look at you, everything just _fits_ and I don't feel lost anymore. Isn't it the same for you?"

Felix simply stared, feeling that same yearning and unable to make sense of it. When he looked at Peter, he could see everything: Happiness, longing, _hatred, pain_ , and it scared Felix just as much as it thrilled him. Why did he feel so much looking at this boy?

Yet, the only thing he didn't feel was _loneliness_.

So Felix nodded, letting Peter collapse back on his stomach.

 

"These eggs are amazing," Peter commented, cutting into his Eggs Benedict and snacking on it in their room while they sorted through all their things, "Put the movies under the television. I want to watch those tonight."

Chuckling, Felix slid the case into the drawer, purposely writing a 'Fragile. DO NOT TOUCH' to deter any curious visitors, "Where do you want this cork board?" He asked, lifting the odd piece of furniture.

"What's that for? Putting up flyers?" Peter joked, chuckling as Peter leaned in against the counter, "Do we have any throwing darts? We can use it as a dartboard."

They continued searching through their boxes, tossing their clothes into a haphazard pile in the closet. It seemed curious to them that they had phone chargers _but no phones_. They figured they'd question Emma about this later. When Felix had the last box folded up, he collapsed onto his bed in exhaustion, finally able to snack on his pancakes while Peter finished up the last of the hollandaise sauce on his plate.

"Your duffel bag," Peter called out, nodding to the bag stuffed under his bed, "You forgot about that."

Felix furrowed his brows as he retrieved the bag, curiously wondering how he could've forgotten about this, like something deep inside him dreaded opening this bag. He thought little of it, simply opening the bag and taking out his clothes and belongings, mostly just simply toiletries.

"You really like hoodies," Peter commented, snickering at the stacks and stacks of hooded sweaters Felix produced from his duffel bag. Felix eventually produced a bundle of feathers and beads at the bottom, tassels after he unravelled them in his hands, "Wow. That's pretty."

Felix smiled as he watched them, wondering what they were before tying them to the window.

"Guess that's it," Felix said, backing up.

Peter peered into the bag, reaching in deep and pulling out a pale yellow envelope, "What's this?" He flipped it over, noticing Felix's name scrawled messily in the center, "It's for you," Confused at the _dread_ from seeing the letter, Felix opened it slowly, pulling out the simple lined paper ripped out from a notebook and reading it carefully, "Who's it from?"

"It's from me," Felix noted, seeing his own name scrawled at the bottom as well as the top, "By the time you read this then your memory is already gone. It was the only way I could get away from _Pan_. I was too weak to do it on my own."

" _Pan?_ " Peter murmured, watching Felix's expression slowly tense as he continued.

"All those lessons about this awful, cruel world that I learned the hard way, you're going to have to learn them all over again. I'm sorry because no one else would ever be," Felix's fingers trembled, eyes blurring as he continued, "That sweet, wonderful man, _Malcolm_ , who rescued you from the streets, taught you how to love, and protected you from that harsh world died centuries ago and if you let this phantom trick you into staying once more, you'll suffer all over again just as I did."

Felix paused, Peter's arms around him and wiping away his tears with his palms. He wasn't even aware that he was crying but found himself sobbing the moment he realized it. Peter took the letter from him when he could no longer continue, reading slowly, "Pan is not your lover but he'll tell you he is. He'll coax you into staying with him, into a better life, and once you give him everything, he'll drag you around on a leash and abandon you when you bore him. Promise yourself you will never go to him no matter how right it feels… Start over, find someone else to follow, and good luck."

The pain in Felix's chest was unbearable and nonsensical. He couldn't understand which made it so much worse. _It hurt so much_ , like the world was crushing him under its weight. He screamed, wailed uncontrollably in Peter's arms, his heart throbbing painfully with every beat.

"It's okay," Peter whispered, "I'm here. I'll protect you," He wiped at Felix's eyes once more, "I won't let Pan hurt you. I promise."

The glaze over Felix's eyes disappeared for just a moment, hearing Peter's promise of safety, Felix threw himself into his arms, fighting the phantom sitting in the back of his mind. A boy, a man, a shadow looming over him who wanted to kill him, fuck him, and _marry him_ all at once. A shadow that humiliated him over and over till he had no shame left. An endless, jagged path that went in circles and circles till Felix was too exhausted to walk, crawling pathetically like a dog, forever behind the shadow that never slowed and never waited. Felix couldn't see it but he knew it was there, waiting for Felix to come back to him so he could wreck him all over again.

"Concentrate on me," Peter whispered, cutting through the darkness, dissipating that looming shadow, "Forget everything else," He rested his forehead on Felix, whispering kindness, "Concentrate only on me."

In Peter's eyes was a single road, narrow and bright, a path the Felix of before begged him to take, the brightest light that cut through Felix's terrifying visions and slew the shadow that once enslaved him. He pulled Peter close, embraced him with all his strength, letting Peter's heartbeat and warmth drown out the unrelenting ache, his light driving away the shadows, shattering the chains Felix hadn't realized were there.

The circle was finally broken. Felix was finally free.

_Everything will be okay as long as I have him._


End file.
